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[blastedass]

« Great Explosion Murder God » 💥 Dynamight 💥 TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION Katsuki Bakugou ✦ My Hero Academia
RESIDENCE ✦ Bakugou / Midoriya Residence
GEMBOND ✦ Ruby
"Katsuki Bakugo. Make it fast or hang the fuck up."

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Private Text; un: Thermodynamics

[heir_conditioned]

Good morning, Bakugo. Happy Birthday. I hope you have fun.

[blastedass]

So far it's not shit.

[heir_conditioned]

I hope it won't be. Birthdays are important.

[blastedass]

Just another day in the year for me, Half-n-Half.

[heir_conditioned]

Alright. It can be important to me instead. I'm thankful for the days my friends were born.

[blastedass]

[Tsk...]

Thanks.

Guess I'm kinda glad you extras are here for it.

[heir_conditioned]

[Oh... Okay, he didn't expect to feel actual feelings here today, but this is what's happening.]

I'm glad, too. It really is important isn't it? You're eighteen right? The timelines get a little convoluted for me, sometimes.

[blastedass]

[IT'S JUST A 'THANKS' - DON'T GET FUCKING FEELINGS OVER IT!!]

Yeah. 18.

Timeline's fucked up even more since you and Shitty Hair are coming from different worlds as well. He's already 18, dammit.

Wait, how fucking old are you?!

[Just hit.]

[heir_conditioned]

[Bakugo saying thanks doesn't happen every day. It's a nice feeling, he's going to have it, damn it.]

It seems odd to be talking about things like that normally. At least to me. I'm happy that all of us found each other again. It could've been so much worse.

I'm the same age as you. I've been eighteen since January. Kirishima is the oldest here, I think. Unless you count the old man and Hawks. Of our class, it's Kirishima.

[blastedass]

[Keep it on that side of the fucking phone then...]

Fuck. He really is older than me. Dammit! I was the oldest in the class!

[Shoto's older than him too, since he was already 18 in January and Bakugo just turned 18 now in April. Fucking otherwordly adventures...]

Those two don't count; they're not in our class.

[heir_conditioned]

[Never.]

Then yes. Kirishima is the oldest one. He's well older than both of us. He said it was his birthday when I met him in the caverns, his birthday is in October so the time is fluctuated for him, too. You and Kirishima can be the oldest, I don't want to be.

[blastedass]

What? Scared of being the oldest in a group?

[Still grumbling over the realization that Kirishima's gonna be older than him, and Shouto's also older than him. At least he's still fucking older than Deku!]

It's a damn reverse from home.

[heir_conditioned]

More apprehensive than scared, not much really scares or frightens me.

[Aside the trauma. Aside that one time, too, that he and Bakugo got jumpscared. Or except when cats jump out in movies, or when the music blares for no fucking reason, or when moronic characters go walking down dark halls that he already knows is going to get them killed. And yet he will continue to watch these movies.]

It is. However, I do know Kirishima is over there. I will speak with you later and give you your gift at another time. I should've sent it with him, I prefer to give it to you in person in the coming days.

[blastedass]

[He won't comment on what scares Shoto, cause he saw what scared him. Plastered all over the news in a flaming ball going down in the middle of the city.]

Bullshit! If you sent it with him, I would've sent it right back and told you to bring it your damn self.

[Just to put the kibosh on that idea in the future. Don't send Kirishima to his death for your present, Shoto. Approach the grave yourself.]

He's running around the house exploring right now. We can talk for a bit.

[heir_conditioned]

[That was paralyzing despair over more than just one thing. But! His focus is on how Bakugo just hit all the neurons in Shoto's brain that says 'Bakugo would rather it be given by me, too'. Excellent. They're friends clearly.]

It will be late for your actual birthday, but that's alright. I agree with you, presents should be face to face if possible when they're for birthdays.

That sounds right. He gets very excited very easily. It's entertaining to see how the smallest things make him happy, or whatever sort of thing is or isn't manly and why. His reasoning is always flawless. Are you aware of the "Bro Code", Bakugo?

[blastedass]

[THAT'S NOT WHAT IT FUCKING MEANT, YOU SAP! (Totally what it means, but denial!) Still wants Shoto to give it to him in person instead of sending it through a fucking proxy.]

I don't care if it's late. Better doing shit one on one than having a fucking party.

For him it's flawless. Fuck if that'd fly for other people. But yeah, he's pretty damn excitable.

Oh fuck. What'd he tell you about that shit?

[heir_conditioned]

[Of course. Not only because Bakugo deserves his birthday celebrated, but being with Bakugo makes him happy, too. Seeing him is just as much a present for Shoto in a way.]

As long as I can attend and not have to be pulled in multiple directions, parties aren't so bad. You and I agree on the face to face exchange, so we'll go with that.

I think a lot of what he says is right. Some of it maybe needs expanding on, but ask him. He has really good explanations.

He was explaining a few things to me. One of them that was really interesting was the prospect of "wing men". You would think those are men like Hawks, but you'd be wrong. I was. There are other things like putting your friends above gardening. It's an easy one, I don't garden.

[blastedass]

[Sap... Bakugo won't say it out loud, but as their past interactions have shown, the angry blonde has a quiet spot he likes being around Shoto as well. The guy's more easy going and less apt to make those excitable outbursts as Izuku or Kirishima. It gives the blonde a break from the overload.]

We're having dinner tonight, you, me, Deku, and Shitty Hair. Kirishima's idea. Sides from that, anything else is one on one. Not having a fucking "party" with everyone.

[He compromised on the dinner. Deal with it. If Hawks and Endeavor come along, then so be it.]

I've talked with him a lot, Half-n-Half.

Why the fuck is he telling you what a god damn "wing man" is?! Put your friends above gardening?! The hell does that even mean? Some people would rather garden than hang out with some annoying extra!

[What are you doing to Shoto's brain, Kirishima?!]

[heir_conditioned]

[At least they both get along on some level, even if there's times of tension. Or have been times of tension in their past. Shoto has no idea if his father and Hawks even know, so if they show up, then alright. He won't make a fuss. It's Bakugo's birthday after all.]

Alright. Tell Kirishima to pin me the location and I'll be there.

Ask him to explain, then, you'll see.

A wingman is a man who helps you with potential partners you have interest in. I think I wouldn't be very good at it, but I'll do it for him or you if asked. Yes exactly, and you would give up gardening to be with that friend. It's called "Bros before hoes". It's right there on the tin.

[blastedass]

[It's highly unlikely that they won't know. (Though later on Hawks does give him a belated B-day message, so they did?) Bakugo's not inviting them because that's just fucking awkward. Hell, he's not inviting anyone; Kirishima did that all on his own and the blonde begrudgingly went along with it.]

I'll send it to you now.

[Cause he's the one Kirishima made pick a place to go... he's the birthday boy after all.]

If I feel like it.

[Probably not going to cause Kirishima's explanations can be weird.]

I'm not gonna fucking ask. If I'm interested in someone, I'll let them know myself.

The fuck? Don't go around calling people "hoes", Half-n-Half! Fucking rude! No one likes being called a damn gardening tool. Want someone calling you a fucking pot?

[He can't do it. He can't tell Shoto the TRUE meaning behind that. And he's going RIGHT over to Kirishima and demanding why the fuck he's teaching Shoto that kind of terminology!]

[heir_conditioned]

[If anything, they can maybe blame Shoto. Then again Hawks knows everything, so chances are he already knew they were going out somehow. Hawks powers. Shoto plugs in the location to the place and then gets up to figure out what to wear.

Kirishima's explanations are great. Says the man who has one braincell when it comes to said explanations.]

No, Bakugo, that's not the point of a wing man. You're supposed to help your friends. It's a very specific role that's given to trustworthy brothers. That's where the "Bro" comes in. It's an abbreviation of brother. That's a very sacred position. You don't just shirk it.

No. I don't want to be called a pot. Why would I call people gardening equipment? I think I'm going to have to send you my notes on this. You don't seem to understand it.

[blastedass]

[Bullshit! Hawks doesn't know everything! (Though he knows it's Bakugo's birthday, which isn't really hard information for a Pro Hero to find out.) Still, if the two want to crash, Bakugo's not going to turn them away. Izuku and Kirishima would give him shit for it.]

"Brother"? You're not related to me.

[He'll stick with the normal definition of that, that you very fucking much. Not gonna be calling Midnight his "school mother" either, despite her maternal side towards her students. Bakugo's kind of picky about family, no matter what his atrocious attitude is and his relationship with his parents.

(And are you sure you wanna be calling people "Bro" with those family... uh... challenges you're working with, Shoto?)

Kirishima can call him "bro" if he wants, though. He doesn't jump on the guy's case about it. That's Kirishima.]

Cause a "hoe" is a gardening tool.

[God dammit, how badly as Kirishima messed up their Ice Prince?!]

[heir_conditioned]

[Shoto would gladly side with Bakugo but Izuku and Kirishima together are a force to be reckoned with. Especially where Shoto is concerned. That and he wouldn't want to ruin anything or cause a scene. Not where Bakugo's birthday comes into play.]

No. See, this is why you need my notes. I'll copy them out for you regarding the Bro Code. "Bro" does mean brother, but much like many words it has more than one meaning. In this case, it's synonymous with the monostich "Brother from another mother." It doesn't mean that you're related. Though, I would be proud to call you my brother if we were related.

[WOW RUDE. HIS FAMILY IS PERFECT.............ly fucked up. How dare. Kirishima can get away with murder. That man has a smile that'd get him straight out of jail.]

Yes but why would I attribute it to a person? Don't be ridiculous.

[blastedass]

[Bakugo also wouldn't want to turn Endeavor away when the man's actually trying to reach out and be social. Even if the guy has a shit history and acted like a jerk, he's trying to improve. The explosive hero can respect that. Plus it'd be kind of extremely fucking rare for all six of them to be at the same table for once...]

Fine. I'll take the fucking copy.

[So he can see what Kirishima's been teaching this guy. And likely facepalm over it. Gonna have to teach him that little important thing called context fucking clues. At least he gets the dual meaning words thing. Like the ever flexible use of "fuck" Bakugo's taught him by existing.]

Ask Kirishima. He didn't fucking explain it to you fully.

[Though Shoto's right in saying Kirishima's smile could get him out of murder. It's certainly prevented Bakugo from murdering him a few times...]

[heir_conditioned]

[There'll be none of that on Shoto's side if Bakugo accepts them, if they're not accepted by Bakugo, then he'll speak up. But for now, that's neither here nor there. Right now he's sitting back down at the table to copy out his notes and research for Bakugo to read regarding the bro code. Some of which he has found on his own and others of which Kirishima has taught him .... or thought he taught him. Some of it is Shoto assuming he understands.]

Sure. I'll try to finish it before tonight's dinner.

[Fuck is definitely a versatile word, and yet again something people forgot about him wherein Shoto isn't an innocent mouthed young man either. He's just decided to leave it behind.]

You'll see from the notes. I promise once you see them it'll make more sense. I've been very careful to detail what I could and what I can glean from here in this world too.

[He could and Shoto knows he could.]