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[blastedass]

« Great Explosion Murder God » 💥 Dynamight 💥 TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION Katsuki Bakugou ✦ My Hero Academia
RESIDENCE ✦ Bakugou / Midoriya Residence
GEMBOND ✦ Ruby
"Katsuki Bakugo. Make it fast or hang the fuck up."

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[blastedass]

[Sap... Bakugo won't say it out loud, but as their past interactions have shown, the angry blonde has a quiet spot he likes being around Shoto as well. The guy's more easy going and less apt to make those excitable outbursts as Izuku or Kirishima. It gives the blonde a break from the overload.]

We're having dinner tonight, you, me, Deku, and Shitty Hair. Kirishima's idea. Sides from that, anything else is one on one. Not having a fucking "party" with everyone.

[He compromised on the dinner. Deal with it. If Hawks and Endeavor come along, then so be it.]

I've talked with him a lot, Half-n-Half.

Why the fuck is he telling you what a god damn "wing man" is?! Put your friends above gardening?! The hell does that even mean? Some people would rather garden than hang out with some annoying extra!

[What are you doing to Shoto's brain, Kirishima?!]

[heir_conditioned]

[At least they both get along on some level, even if there's times of tension. Or have been times of tension in their past. Shoto has no idea if his father and Hawks even know, so if they show up, then alright. He won't make a fuss. It's Bakugo's birthday after all.]

Alright. Tell Kirishima to pin me the location and I'll be there.

Ask him to explain, then, you'll see.

A wingman is a man who helps you with potential partners you have interest in. I think I wouldn't be very good at it, but I'll do it for him or you if asked. Yes exactly, and you would give up gardening to be with that friend. It's called "Bros before hoes". It's right there on the tin.

[blastedass]

[It's highly unlikely that they won't know. (Though later on Hawks does give him a belated B-day message, so they did?) Bakugo's not inviting them because that's just fucking awkward. Hell, he's not inviting anyone; Kirishima did that all on his own and the blonde begrudgingly went along with it.]

I'll send it to you now.

[Cause he's the one Kirishima made pick a place to go... he's the birthday boy after all.]

If I feel like it.

[Probably not going to cause Kirishima's explanations can be weird.]

I'm not gonna fucking ask. If I'm interested in someone, I'll let them know myself.

The fuck? Don't go around calling people "hoes", Half-n-Half! Fucking rude! No one likes being called a damn gardening tool. Want someone calling you a fucking pot?

[He can't do it. He can't tell Shoto the TRUE meaning behind that. And he's going RIGHT over to Kirishima and demanding why the fuck he's teaching Shoto that kind of terminology!]

[heir_conditioned]

[If anything, they can maybe blame Shoto. Then again Hawks knows everything, so chances are he already knew they were going out somehow. Hawks powers. Shoto plugs in the location to the place and then gets up to figure out what to wear.

Kirishima's explanations are great. Says the man who has one braincell when it comes to said explanations.]

No, Bakugo, that's not the point of a wing man. You're supposed to help your friends. It's a very specific role that's given to trustworthy brothers. That's where the "Bro" comes in. It's an abbreviation of brother. That's a very sacred position. You don't just shirk it.

No. I don't want to be called a pot. Why would I call people gardening equipment? I think I'm going to have to send you my notes on this. You don't seem to understand it.

[blastedass]

[Bullshit! Hawks doesn't know everything! (Though he knows it's Bakugo's birthday, which isn't really hard information for a Pro Hero to find out.) Still, if the two want to crash, Bakugo's not going to turn them away. Izuku and Kirishima would give him shit for it.]

"Brother"? You're not related to me.

[He'll stick with the normal definition of that, that you very fucking much. Not gonna be calling Midnight his "school mother" either, despite her maternal side towards her students. Bakugo's kind of picky about family, no matter what his atrocious attitude is and his relationship with his parents.

(And are you sure you wanna be calling people "Bro" with those family... uh... challenges you're working with, Shoto?)

Kirishima can call him "bro" if he wants, though. He doesn't jump on the guy's case about it. That's Kirishima.]

Cause a "hoe" is a gardening tool.

[God dammit, how badly as Kirishima messed up their Ice Prince?!]

[heir_conditioned]

[Shoto would gladly side with Bakugo but Izuku and Kirishima together are a force to be reckoned with. Especially where Shoto is concerned. That and he wouldn't want to ruin anything or cause a scene. Not where Bakugo's birthday comes into play.]

No. See, this is why you need my notes. I'll copy them out for you regarding the Bro Code. "Bro" does mean brother, but much like many words it has more than one meaning. In this case, it's synonymous with the monostich "Brother from another mother." It doesn't mean that you're related. Though, I would be proud to call you my brother if we were related.

[WOW RUDE. HIS FAMILY IS PERFECT.............ly fucked up. How dare. Kirishima can get away with murder. That man has a smile that'd get him straight out of jail.]

Yes but why would I attribute it to a person? Don't be ridiculous.

[blastedass]

[Bakugo also wouldn't want to turn Endeavor away when the man's actually trying to reach out and be social. Even if the guy has a shit history and acted like a jerk, he's trying to improve. The explosive hero can respect that. Plus it'd be kind of extremely fucking rare for all six of them to be at the same table for once...]

Fine. I'll take the fucking copy.

[So he can see what Kirishima's been teaching this guy. And likely facepalm over it. Gonna have to teach him that little important thing called context fucking clues. At least he gets the dual meaning words thing. Like the ever flexible use of "fuck" Bakugo's taught him by existing.]

Ask Kirishima. He didn't fucking explain it to you fully.

[Though Shoto's right in saying Kirishima's smile could get him out of murder. It's certainly prevented Bakugo from murdering him a few times...]

[heir_conditioned]

[There'll be none of that on Shoto's side if Bakugo accepts them, if they're not accepted by Bakugo, then he'll speak up. But for now, that's neither here nor there. Right now he's sitting back down at the table to copy out his notes and research for Bakugo to read regarding the bro code. Some of which he has found on his own and others of which Kirishima has taught him .... or thought he taught him. Some of it is Shoto assuming he understands.]

Sure. I'll try to finish it before tonight's dinner.

[Fuck is definitely a versatile word, and yet again something people forgot about him wherein Shoto isn't an innocent mouthed young man either. He's just decided to leave it behind.]

You'll see from the notes. I promise once you see them it'll make more sense. I've been very careful to detail what I could and what I can glean from here in this world too.

[He could and Shoto knows he could.]

[blastedass]

[Look, if they show up, make the effort to or accidental, they'll get to stay. Bakugo's a dick, but he's not that big a dick. Still not inviting them himself, so Hawks or Kirishima or Midoriya will have to make that happen if it will. Bakugo frowns at the screen, not sure what he's getting himself into by policing whatever Kirishima's been putting into this guy's slushie brain. It's not just Kirishima teaching him; it's Kirishima putting shit in his head that Shoto then goes on to look up, ask about, research, and otherwise expand upon.

With a crap foundation to build on. Kind of like that cooking journal.]

Don't fucking rush yourself.

[It's not that important. Bakugo's heard him use the word once or twice. The one during sex was pretty damn hot. Still, Shoto's a polite young man compared to others, formal and kind alongside his stoicism. Many a person's dreamboat.]

Uh-huh. I'll make my own notes when I see them.

[And slap Kirishima across the face with it.]

1/2

[heir_conditioned]

[Bakugo is a big dick, but he's a big dick when he's required to be. Shoto, too, and they both know the appropriate times to pull out that specific skill. A birthday party is not that time.

And hey, his journal is great. Flawless. No mistakes or 'Disregard this page, see page x' at all.]

I won't, if it can't get done tonight, then I will see it to you, soon.

[Too bad that isn't Bakugo's birthday present. No denying though aside the dreamboat thing. Maybe if they're blind in his opinion.]

Of course, I'll make sure that each has space for your notes.

2/2

[heir_conditioned]

I've been informed by Kirishima that "hoes" is a euphemism for "whores". I'm going to ask Kirishima a few more things, but I think you weren't telling me that you already knew. Weren't you?

[blastedass]

[He's a big dick plenty of times he's not required to be either. Also knows that Shoto's not a completely innocent guy either and can certainly be a dick himself when it wants or feels the need for it.

Right. A flawless journal. While Bakugo's got no doubts that the guy's smart, can study well, and take good notes, this is one time he's in doubt. Not the quality of his work, but the authenticity of his source topic...]

Don't strain yourself. Got better shit do tonight.

[Thank fuck it's not his birthday present. Hand-made notes on Shoto's interpretation and understanding of Kirishima's "Bro Code" ideology. He would get such a fucking look...]

I can make notes in the margins or in my own notebook, dammit.

[Don't go skipping lines and making shit even harder for yourself!

...

And cue for giving the screen a flat look when Shoto reveals that lovely piece of news. Good job on cleaning up the fucking mess, Kirishima.]

Course I wasn't going to tell you! That's Shitty Hair's job! He should've told you the other meaning when he introduced you to the damn phrase.

[heir_conditioned]

[So basically, two big, situational dicks. Understood. At least there's no shortage of them both putting their foot down. Hopefully it's not with each other. That'd be a mushroom cloud of proportions not seen by man or beast.]

Yes, I do.

[More like, too bad swearing, entangled and sweaty isn't his present, but notes on the Bro Code certainly don't equate to one, this is true.]

Yes, he should have, but you should've told me, too. I trust you to be honest with me.
No, I take that back. That isn't fair of me to have said. I should have asked more questions. I'm glad that I didn't use the terminology to describe someone.

[blastedass]

[No one would think Shoto was as big a dick as Bakugo any day of the week. Well, Ice Prince Shoto could probably rival him, but Shoto hasn't acted like that in a long time. Stubborn? Now that's another story. Both are very much stubborn. Leaving them to openly clash at times.]

That's why I texted Shitty Hair. He's never gonna learn if I cover for him every damn time he fails at this. If he's gonna teach you new shit, he should explain things properly.

You're the one who's learning. You're not gonna know to ask if "hoe" has some fucked up connotation you'd never know about. If I'M teaching you something, it's my responsibility to teach you to the best I can. If I fail you, that's on me. Not you. And not on Kirishima.

And I was honest with you. A "hoe" is still a gardening tool and you still shouldn't call people a fucking tool.

[Says the guy who calls people WAY WORSE than a gardening tool.] Text

[heir_conditioned]

[That's very true, no one really knows Shoto like his friends. Especially his early months in those classes. If Bakugo and Shoto really were like that still, there'd be hell to pay. Thankfully Shoto's learned there's times and places to dig his heels in.

Give him a second though, he's dealing with seeing 'Kirishima', lookit. That's friends words.]

He does try to teach me a lot. I feel very comfortable around him now and I guess he can't anticipate everything I wouldn't know. Well... I know now. I'm glad I didn't upset anyone. That's the important part. Thank you for telling him he needed to clarify.

You did try. Is wingman really wingman as I explained it? I'm editing my notes right now.

[blastedass]

[Shoto's warmed up and Bakugo's... somewhat calmed down a little. Or as Shinsou put it mentally, has become a little more tame over the course of his year at U.A. That's what happens when you have friends, boys. Even if one of you refuses to admit you've got any.

HE'S SOMETIMES CALLS HIM "KIRISHIMA" EVEN OUT LOUD, DAMMIT!!]

He can be an idiot. Excitable but stupid. If you need to check something, run it by me. I'll vet it and either send you back to him or pass you.

[Now to see just how much of that comment Shoto goes "what?" towards, if any.]

Yeah. A wingman's a friend to help make social interaction easier so you don't look like a fucking idiot trying to do shit alone.

[Please don't quote this trash mouth, Shoto.]

[heir_conditioned]

[You might say they're growing up quickly. Wonder what things in their world is forcing that out of them.

It's FRIEND WORDS. Shoto will quietly celebrate them, that'll make Kirishima happy.]

Pass me...? Does that extend to anything to do with Kirishima?

[He gets it, vaguely. He thinks this is definitely going to be on the test.]

Thankfully that one was right. After your birthday, I could use your help.

[He will quote him, it's being written down rn.]

[blastedass]

[They are growing up quickly. They had to, when their class got shoved into a goddam war for their own society. To say nothing of what being forced into other worlds do...]

That means if Shitty Hair explained it to you well enough, I don't have to yell at him.

[Honestly there aren't a huge amount of things Shoto's going to get hung up on in this manner. Bakugo's not going to explain to him all the things a lot of immature teenagers find out ways to make dirty for no fucking reason.

Shoto doesn't need to know the sordid history of the eggplant...]

With what? Kirishima's "Bro Code" shit?

[That poor notebook.]

[heir_conditioned]

Bakugo, does your throat ever get sore? You're very vocal and I've wondered it for a while now. You don't really have to yell, you know.

[Because Kirishima is definitely going to get an ear full with a lot of the things that Shoto has considered, learned or picked up from him. But no, no one actually needs to teach Shoto about the eggplant, not unless he sees it on the network and asks. Thankfully not something to concern with.]

No with Kirishima himself. Since I'm, admittedly, no good in social situations I was wondering if you could help me. We can discuss it when it isn't time to get ready for your birthday party or time that you could be "hanging out" with a friend.

[blastedass]

[Yes... but not from yelling.]

No! I'm not gonna get a fucking sore throat from talking!

[Granted, despite the volume at which he talks, Bakugou's also one of the quieter ones in class for not talking nearly as much as others. Rather sit there with a silent scowl and not get involved in a stupid conversation.]

The fuck's wrong with Shitty Hair?

[Shoto needs "help" with him? Kirishima's one of the easiest people to get along with, if you can ignore his exuberance over things.]

Talking with you about it would be hanging out with a friend, dammit!

[ ...

...

... FUCK!!]

[heir_conditioned]

Talking, no. But you said yelling. Sometimes I get concerned because of the decibels you seem to reach. It's impressive.

[But boy when Bakugo raises his voice.]

Nothing's wrong with him. I want to ask him to accompany me to a movie, but every time I try, I lose my nerve.

[............HANG ON]

That's a nice thing to read, Bakugo. You're my friend, too. You'll always be my friend, one of the best ones I have.

[blastedass]

I'm not yelling all fucking day! I'm not even yelling right now!

[Not with his voice at least. But he's certainly close to using Caps Lock!]

WHAT?! Write a fucking note and leave it on the fridge!

"Movie at 5pm. Together."

Then walk out the fucking door at five.

[Don't have to say a word. Why is this difficult?!]

SHUT IT!

[heir_conditioned]

Oh. I definitely hear this in your louder voice, though. Do you do that, too? Hear things in people's voices when you read them?

[He's definitely close to it because 'what' is in uppercase letters.]

What if he doesn't want to go to see a movie? Ah wait. You're saying that I'd know because if I walked out the door, he wouldn't? That is kind of efficient. It'd be pretty obvious he didn't want to. I ended up cancelling our first outing and I've been trying to make it up since. This is helpful.

[He doesn't have to but boy he's going to.]

I'm returning your sentiments, Bakugo. I meant it earlier when I said if we were related I'd be honoured by it. So being your friend is the next best thing. I'm happy you see me that way, too and felt you wanted to admit it.

[blastedass]

That's in your brain! It's not gonna give me a fucking sore throat! [Still stuck on defending his throat of all things.] Everybody does that, if they've heard the person.

[It's in uppercase for a damn reason...]

Yeah. Why'd you cancel your first outing?

[Wait a second...]

Are you two dating?

[Or is this Shoto wanting to start dating but not knowing how to ask for one?]

WOULD YOU STOP FUCKING SLOBBERING ALL OVER IT?!

[Since he can't exactly deny it when it's sitting right up there staring him in the fucking face. Drop it!]

[heir_conditioned]

No, of course not. How would my brain give you a sore throat?

[By you spewing your ideas, Shoto, and the poor guy having to scream about it.]

I ended up wanting to stay in and watch movies with him instead of going out to a bonfire. No, we haven't been on any dates. I cancelled the first one to watch movies at home like I said. It's why I was hoping you'd help me as my wingman. It's also why I said we could talk about it another time.

[Bingo. No clue how to ask someone on a date. Which is very different from his day to day, because grabbing a certain hot blond by certain body parts doesn't phase him. Asking ANY of them out on dates? Yeah. He fails at that part of it.]

I'm not slobbering. I'm being grateful, and I am grateful. I won't let you down, Bakugo.