think it over. some people change their hero names at the start.
[two in his class did. bakugo didn't even have his hero name picked out for a long time. mostly due to censorship and his being a stubborn asshole about it...]
i know. but i've realized there are ways i'll never be like him.
[Especially when it's his fault All Might was forced to retire... What Yuji says to him helps quell that old rising guilt that will never go away no matter what anyone says. It's still nice to hear. Because he does want to be that kind of hero. Even if he has to pick himself up to get there.]
hn. that's one of the reason i became a hero. it's why i won't give up no matter what happens. if i give up on myself, how the hell can i expect anyone watching me to stand strong?
[He won't make others do something he won't do as well. Serious stuff. You can do the dishes cause you got them dirty.]
'exactly' like him? no one can. i wanted to be better. but i wasn't.
you say some real mushy stuff, gari head. there's only ever gonna be one of me! just like there's only gonna be one of you.
[For someone to say this kind of thing and yet somehow not believe it about himself... It's that flavor of selfless "reckless" he hears from Yuji, Midoriya, All Might, that clashes so hard with someone as prideful as Bakugo.]
finally got through your thick skull?
[There are other reasons, but yeah, they stem from that care. Both for Yuji as a person and because Bakugo's chosen to believe in his friend and the good he's doing for his world.]
yeah yeah pound me all you want weirdo but at least you accept you’re a sap now.
[ As for the rest… This is complicated, huh?
Yuji empathises. He does in a way that maybe no one else could quite get, given who he is. Bakugo saw someone he looked up to, cherished, cared about lose something in front of them and it was their fault. How could he not empathise?
Nanamin. Gojo-sensei. Higuruma-san. Mentors lost because of Yuji’s folly.
The words that come aren’t words he’d ever necessarily listen to himself all the time, but right now… They’re the words that he knows would’ve helped him. Would help him. They’re from the heart.
i don’t think he’d do that if he didn’t think you were worth it when i lost nanamin he told me… ‘you’ve got it from here’. i didn’t understand those words for a long time. maybe i don’t understand what he wanted me to feel with them or what he wanted, but this is what i took: i can carry his share of suffering. i can take what he gave me and be better. i don’t run away, don’t use my fear and sadness as an excuse anymore. because nanamin believed in me, right to the end.
even when he was dying, he saw me and he believed in me.
maybe it wasn’t fair, that he had to save you. but you’re the next generation of heroes. you’re someone who’s gonna be strong. so maybe you can carry his share too. maybe you’ve got it from here too, bakugo.
[They can get back to talking sappy and pounding each other later. Bakugo isn't even sure why he suddenly launched all that on Yuji. Maybe things built up. Maybe it seemed an okay segue into that history.
Maybe Yuji needed to hear that someone else deals with guilt in his life that other people would say is "unjustly" due but can't be so simply accepted as such by the one carrying it.
Complicated.
Their stories aren't the same, the numbers and people aren't the same, even the stakes aren't the same, but there are similarities that pertain between them. Survivor's guilt. The onus of feeling responsible for someone else's decline. The thought of "If only I'd" fill in the blank and everything would've turned out better...]
all might said something similar... 'it's your turn'. though he meant it more for deku.
but we carry what those before us left behind. our teachers gave us lessons. our heroes gave us strength. i want to be greater than all might to repay what he sacrificed for me... i know nanami believed in you too. he wasn't the kind of man to die for someone he didn't.
thanks, itadori. i'm going be stronger. i'm not going to lose. all might was someone the world looked up to and i'm not going to be anything less than that. i'll carry what he left behind, what every hero who's died in this war sacrificed.
[All Might. Endeavor. Midnight. Aizawa. Jeanist. Edgeshot. Mirko. Hawks. His teachers, his heroes, his mentors... and all his classmates who are fighting their hardest to save as many people as possible to achieve that victory.]
if they believed in us, we can't do anything less than the same.
[ It's not as if Yuji hasn't given Bakugo his fair share of shit to listen to and bury himself under: it's not as if he hasn't confessed too much to him over time. It's difficult to reign it all back in once it starts coming out, isn't it? Difficult and impossible.
So he's glad. If he can be a sounding board to Bakugo, too... That's good enough for him. Even if he had intended this to be a cute conversation about hero names, maybe it was something Bakugo wanted to talk about. ]
it can mean stuff to you too
it's not like he died for me or anything, but thanks.
they gave us strength, and memories, and things we need to remember going forward. i might make more mistakes, and i might do the right thing, or something else would happen, but at least no one will ever say i didn't do my best. i always do the best i can, no matter what happens. i'll get up and fight just as hard in the future too.
[Yuji's probably told Bakugo more about his problems than the blonde has, mostly because Bakugo sticks his nose in Yuji's business and the sakura's been too kind (or distracted) to shove into Bakugo's. They both don't like to burden others with their issues, probably for different reasons though.
But despite that, there's a silent sense of relief to have gotten it out to someone. Someone not in the know, who can look at it from an outside perspective. And it's probably about time he trusted Yuji with some of his own troubles. Bakugo's not the perfect, powerful, boy he likes to present himself as.]
i know.
[People who risk their lives, or die protecting, in one way or another, do it for everyone they care about. All Might knew what he was sacrificing for one child, he knew the world was watching...]
that what makes you so strong. you don't give up. you only lose when you quit. i won't fail either. and i won't stop until i've won and the people i care about are safe.
you always do your best, don't you. you're a reliable guy, itadori. i'm glad people will say that about you.
thanks. i won't stop believing in you either.
[No matter how many times he has to remind him. A frustrated sigh as he drops on his back.]
hopefully neither of us will have to face this shitty world ending again. it'd fucking suck if it became an annual event.
[ Unloading himself, sharing how he feels - it's difficult for Yuji, when he feels such a well of sadness and guilt that he can't swallow back or hide. The truth is that he feels like he deserves to feel this way for his own sins and mistakes. For messing up when he did, as many times as he did.
It helps, to talk about things. In small doses, to limit his own exposure. He still has nightmares, he still feels divorced from reality sometimes, but it's getting better. It's improving, slowly but surely. Time and time again, it'll get better. ]
that's how i feel as well. i've got people i want to save, so i'm not going to give up until i know i've done it. that's my determination right now.
we're both going to be reliable people and we're gonna do our best. i know that. i believe in us, dandelion.
[It's different for Bakugo. Showing how he feels, revealing his mistakes and frustrations, crashes into his pride. Someone who strives to be the strongest there is, to have people look at him and know there's no way he can lose... How can he let those people see him as weak? How can the strongest be vulnerable? He has to be perfect, he can't let anyone down, including himself. No one relies on broken, weak, useless, vulnerable, to be their hero.
The shame and pain of having someone see him as those things... Bakugo hates it.
But over the year, he's matured in some of that. To the point where it's not the end of the world to talk about things. Rare, quiet, quick, and only with people he trusts enough to feel close to. His nightmares and guilt are mostly his own, his to deal with and resolve without help. But now he's allowing himself the reality that help isn't so bad.
It takes strength to admit you need help.]
don't give up even after you've saved everyone and done it all. you're worth saving too. even from yourself.
i know what you promised, but it doesn't have to end like that. cause i'm not giving up on you.
i'll listen. whenever you need it.
[And Yuji heard him out this time. Bakugo would only do this with someone he trusts intensely.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blastedass
they are
Date: 4/11/24 21:27 (UTC)[two in his class did. bakugo didn't even have his hero name picked out for a long time. mostly due to censorship and his being a stubborn asshole about it...]
i know. but i've realized there are ways i'll never be like him.
[Especially when it's his fault All Might was forced to retire... What Yuji says to him helps quell that old rising guilt that will never go away no matter what anyone says. It's still nice to hear. Because he does want to be that kind of hero. Even if he has to pick himself up to get there.]
hn. that's one of the reason i became a hero. it's why i won't give up no matter what happens. if i give up on myself, how the hell can i expect anyone watching me to stand strong?
[He won't make others do something he won't do as well. Serious stuff. You can do the dishes cause you got them dirty.]
you make me feel safe too.
"you make me feel safe too" i'm melting
Date: 4/11/24 21:49 (UTC)do you have to be exactly the same as him? i don't think the world needs two "all might", but it definitely needs one "bakugo"
[ Yuji has no idea about the context, obviously, he's just... Speaking from the heart, as he always does, without thinking about it. ]
soooo that's why you nag me so much! i can't give up if i want to be a hero, i get it. i'll keep working hard so i can be that kind of hero as well.
(✿◦’ᴗ˘◦)♡
look... it's oozey here
Date: 4/11/24 22:06 (UTC)you say some real mushy stuff, gari head. there's only ever gonna be one of me!
just like there's only gonna be one of you.
[For someone to say this kind of thing and yet somehow not believe it about himself... It's that flavor of selfless "reckless" he hears from Yuji, Midoriya, All Might, that clashes so hard with someone as prideful as Bakugo.]
finally got through your thick skull?
[There are other reasons, but yeah, they stem from that care. Both for Yuji as a person and because Bakugo's chosen to believe in his friend and the good he's doing for his world.]
you're gonna be amazing, gari head.
permitted to be cute when it's private text
Date: 4/11/24 22:12 (UTC)i'm just being honest, don't be mean this time!! we can be sappy sometimes and then you can hit me or whatever!!
[ Ah... Yuji flops back where he is, rubbing his face. Bakugo really brings out his emotions. ]
maybe it would be less thick if people stopped pounding me
he always gets cute permits... and down we go~
Date: 4/11/24 22:31 (UTC)you're the sappy one.
[Right, cause Bakugo's not been sappy this whole time.]
so i'll pound you somewhere other than your head next time.
[Normal talk, right? Right. But on that...]
you're right. i can't- we can't, be all might. the only way we'll surpass him is together.
all might retired as a hero several months ago in my world.
[ ... ... ... ]
he used up all his strength to rescue me from all for one.
[Because I wasn't strong enough.]
all might is the greatest hero in my world. his presence alone decreased japan's crime rate to 3%. he's the symbol of peace for the world.
[Now imagine being the shitty little kid that caused The World to lose that.]
me, literally tearing up writing this tag
Date: 4/11/24 22:42 (UTC)but at least you accept you’re a sap now.
[ As for the rest… This is complicated, huh?
Yuji empathises. He does in a way that maybe no one else could quite get, given who he is. Bakugo saw someone he looked up to, cherished, cared about lose something in front of them and it was their fault. How could he not empathise?
Nanamin. Gojo-sensei. Higuruma-san. Mentors lost because of Yuji’s folly.
The words that come aren’t words he’d ever necessarily listen to himself all the time, but right now… They’re the words that he knows would’ve helped him. Would help him. They’re from the heart.
i don’t think he’d do that if he didn’t think you were worth it
when i lost nanamin he told me… ‘you’ve got it from here’. i didn’t understand those words for a long time. maybe i don’t understand what he wanted me to feel with them or what he wanted, but this is what i took: i can carry his share of suffering. i can take what he gave me and be better. i don’t run away, don’t use my fear and sadness as an excuse anymore. because nanamin believed in me, right to the end.
even when he was dying, he saw me and he believed in me.
maybe it wasn’t fair, that he had to save you. but you’re the next generation of heroes. you’re someone who’s gonna be strong. so maybe you can carry his share too. maybe you’ve got it from here too, bakugo.
damn ninjas cutting onions
Date: 4/11/24 23:18 (UTC)Maybe Yuji needed to hear that someone else deals with guilt in his life that other people would say is "unjustly" due but can't be so simply accepted as such by the one carrying it.
Complicated.
Their stories aren't the same, the numbers and people aren't the same, even the stakes aren't the same, but there are similarities that pertain between them. Survivor's guilt. The onus of feeling responsible for someone else's decline. The thought of "If only I'd" fill in the blank and everything would've turned out better...]
all might said something similar... 'it's your turn'. though he meant it more for deku.
but we carry what those before us left behind. our teachers gave us lessons. our heroes gave us strength. i want to be greater than all might to repay what he sacrificed for me... i know nanami believed in you too. he wasn't the kind of man to die for someone he didn't.
thanks, itadori. i'm going be stronger. i'm not going to lose. all might was someone the world looked up to and i'm not going to be anything less than that. i'll carry what he left behind, what every hero who's died in this war sacrificed.
[All Might. Endeavor. Midnight. Aizawa. Jeanist. Edgeshot. Mirko. Hawks. His teachers, his heroes, his mentors... and all his classmates who are fighting their hardest to save as many people as possible to achieve that victory.]
if they believed in us, we can't do anything less than the same.
[You too, Itadori Yuji.]
the onions will not leave me alone
Date: 4/12/24 02:49 (UTC)So he's glad. If he can be a sounding board to Bakugo, too... That's good enough for him. Even if he had intended this to be a cute conversation about hero names, maybe it was something Bakugo wanted to talk about. ]
it can mean stuff to you too
it's not like he died for me or anything, but thanks.
they gave us strength, and memories, and things we need to remember going forward. i might make more mistakes, and i might do the right thing, or something else would happen, but at least no one will ever say i didn't do my best. i always do the best i can, no matter what happens. i'll get up and fight just as hard in the future too.
i believe in you, bakugo.
here's another bushel
Date: 4/12/24 03:06 (UTC)But despite that, there's a silent sense of relief to have gotten it out to someone. Someone not in the know, who can look at it from an outside perspective. And it's probably about time he trusted Yuji with some of his own troubles. Bakugo's not the perfect, powerful, boy he likes to present himself as.]
i know.
[People who risk their lives, or die protecting, in one way or another, do it for everyone they care about. All Might knew what he was sacrificing for one child, he knew the world was watching...]
that what makes you so strong. you don't give up. you only lose when you quit. i won't fail either. and i won't stop until i've won and the people i care about are safe.
you always do your best, don't you. you're a reliable guy, itadori. i'm glad people will say that about you.
thanks. i won't stop believing in you either.
[No matter how many times he has to remind him. A frustrated sigh as he drops on his back.]
hopefully neither of us will have to face this shitty world ending again. it'd fucking suck if it became an annual event.
shakes you
Date: 4/12/24 03:33 (UTC)It helps, to talk about things. In small doses, to limit his own exposure. He still has nightmares, he still feels divorced from reality sometimes, but it's getting better. It's improving, slowly but surely. Time and time again, it'll get better. ]
that's how i feel as well. i've got people i want to save, so i'm not going to give up until i know i've done it. that's my determination right now.
we're both going to be reliable people and we're gonna do our best. i know that. i believe in us, dandelion.
thanks. for hearing me out all the time.
is shooketh
Date: 4/12/24 03:47 (UTC)The shame and pain of having someone see him as those things... Bakugo hates it.
But over the year, he's matured in some of that. To the point where it's not the end of the world to talk about things. Rare, quiet, quick, and only with people he trusts enough to feel close to. His nightmares and guilt are mostly his own, his to deal with and resolve without help. But now he's allowing himself the reality that help isn't so bad.
It takes strength to admit you need help.]
don't give up even after you've saved everyone and done it all. you're worth saving too. even from yourself.
i know what you promised, but it doesn't have to end like that. cause i'm not giving up on you.
i'll listen. whenever you need it.
[And Yuji heard him out this time. Bakugo would only do this with someone he trusts intensely.]
no subject
Date: 4/12/24 04:07 (UTC)so unwavering fist then
[ This chat got heavy fast... But he's not mad about it. He appreciates Bakugo all the more for it, and feels a warm place in his heart. ]
no subject
Date: 4/12/24 04:13 (UTC)But fine. He isn't going to chase after that. Had enough of the heavy stuff himself. Yuji knows.]
the number 2 hero, unwavering fist.
[Look, Aoyama's hero name is the "Shining Hero: Can't Stop Twinkling" so sure.]
you'll be a hell of a hero.
[He's glad to have been able to vent. Feels closer to Yuji even more now. That warmth inside... yeah. Shared.]
no subject
Date: 4/12/24 04:16 (UTC)no.2 because you'll be no.1 right?
it's on, dandelion. 💪
no subject
Date: 4/12/24 04:28 (UTC)damn right.
you want that spot, you'll have to beat me for it.
no subject
Date: 4/12/24 04:29 (UTC)no subject
Date: 4/12/24 04:30 (UTC)