[ it's something denji gathered from the small details from their conversation in the bathhouse and that shared memory. midoriya isn't just an old friend, he is someone who had a major influence on bakugou. in one way or another.
it gotta ... hurt a bit, right? even if they end up seeing each other again, bakugou might be feeling a bit off with the sudden departure. ]
[it's... a half truth. because he knows what's waiting for izuku back home. even if their worlds are paused, katsuki can't get over the feeling of being stuck here. worrying about his world, the people back there.
denji's right about izuku and how close he is to katsuki. he's only seen a glimpse of how the blonde used to treat the other boy. their relationship is infuriatingly complex, but...
yeah, it does hurt. though, what hurt more was the lack of interaction. the departure was almost a relief.]
[ denji is still clueless about what awaits the young heroes back home, but he knows bakugou wouldn't lie to him. if he truly feels some level of ease— then this might be the best scenario for deku. the half-devil will just have to keep an eye on him in the past few days and make sure his partner is coping well. be there for him if he needs it.
ah, fuck. why did bakugou pull an uno reverse card here? ]
i think aki dating tsuru made our friendship easier. if that make any sense? i feel we needed someone to keep the mood light and fun and silly, so ... yeah.
[ a pause. ]
but, in vegas, he did end up seeing memories of my life that i was hoping he would never find out about. so, that fucking sucked.
[some day he'll tell him. katsuki doesn't usually talk about what's waiting for him back home. it's a heavy burden and bringing it up only reminds him that he's trapped here, and not home there. but he's never going to lie to denji. having izuku return home is a good thing. it means he's not stuck in this place.
how katsuki copes with that will be... a mix of things.
and he plays the reverse uno because talking about his feelings is never easy. even with the people he's closest to.]
that makes sense.
[it's not a distraction in the negative sense, but a release that lets the pressure of friendship not build up too much. people need space, time alone, and a different lens to filter through. not sure about the light and silly part, but whatever. katsuki knows his classmates are dumbasses.]
[ regardless of how bakugou chooses to cope with it, denji will try his best to be there for him. will he be helpful? we'll have to wait and see. this is a new territory, after all.
yeah, it's not a distraction— it's good to have someone to keep them from sinking lower into misery and tsurumaru had that talent. it kept the flow of the conversation a lot easier between them and they had other topics to discuss aside from the utter fuckery that awaits them back home.
well, it's denji's turn to have some time to reflect on an answer. it is hard to talk about feelings, he agrees with bakugou on this one, but his reason might be different. ]
no. he knows what happened to him. i told him a week after we showed up in this city. it's ... the memories of what happened after he was no longer part of my life. i wanted to protect him from that.
[ further failures on denji's part to protect another person he cares about. it's never-ending, isn't it? he truly had no control, no power, no influence ... ]
[katsuki's never been one who's easy to help. he's stubborn, proud, and doesn't like people to think he's weak in any form. but denji's words and presence are a help even if the half-devil wonders if it is.
perhaps that same reason is why the blonde's more comfortable around his close circle of friends. they don't have to talk about what's going on back home, what waits for them, and can focus on something new and most-of-the-time more pleasant.
denji has all the time he wants as katsuki flops on his back and looks up at the ceiling. one of the perks of having the brain phone: hands free communication.]
that you had to move on without him or life keeps fucking with you?
the second part. it hurts him that he's not there to protect me ...
[ the hands-free communication is a blessing— especially in these types of conversations. it didn't mean denji's answers are coming out as fast as they usually are. it's a difficult topic. however, if he's expecting visibility from bakugou it's only fair he returns the favor. being a hypocrite will not help either of them to progress, so he has to suck it up.
unlike the other, denji's body is far too stiff and he ends up leaning back against the wall, finding a somewhat private corner along the street, seeking some relief under the shade. ]
it hurts me, too.
but, i didn't want him to know. i didn't want him to see me like that. i hoped he'd think i'm doing well. that i'm happy ...
[as frustrating as it is, aki shouldn't think it's his responsibility or need to be beside denji 24/7 all the time. that kind of thinking will only drive him further and further into despondency as each trouble denji faces equates to another failure on aki's part. a hero naturally feels that same kind of wrench when something fucks up and he or she wasn't there to stop it... but they can't be everywhere all at once.
katsuki's got the window to his room open and the bed stripped down to nothing but the top sheet with a plastic covering underneath. it's irritatingly-noisy, but it keeps the mattress from ending up a sweat-soaked mess while they figure out how to get the power stable again.]
[ it's a lot. in a way, he understands aki's feelings, and they both acknowledge they are struggling to cope with their cruel reality— they are trying their best to be better, to feel better; following the textbook. talk about it, cry your heart out, forgive, and then try to move on. they fucking did all of that. then why? why does it still feel so off?
he's quiet for a bit; expression going somber behind the flush from the mad heat, hair sticking to his sweat-drenched skin, yet he found himself in an odd trance that made him forget of physical discomfort. more silence, he then started walking down the narrow street again, idly seeking a nearby store or restaurant with a functioning cooling unit to recover. ]
do you agree? that sometimes the person shouldn't know? just to keep them happy?
[it's easy to say "he shouldn't" but far from easy to do. as much as katsuki tells his friends not to blame themselves for shit they didn't do or had no ability to stop, it's hard for him to practice what he preaches. he feels the weight of guilt and a desire to protect the people he's close to even if he knows he can't be everywhere and do everything he needs to.
it'll always feel off. just the same as a scar will always be present on the skin. wounds like that heal, but scars only fade with time, never disappearing. it's easy to forget that. katsuki reaches for a nearby water bottle.]
that's not a simple answer. lying to someone to keep them happy is bullshit.
but with this, it's between you and him.
if he asked you what happened after he died, it's up to you to tell him or not, but both of you need to be ready for whatever happens next.
i'm not talking about aki anymore. i'm asking you.
would you rather not know?
[ an honest question. denji could feel himself getting a bit nervous as he pushed through the crowd; he didn't predict a silly text of him whining over the heatwave to take such a turn and he wasn't prepared for any of this. his issue with aki is something he will have to handle since he chose to break the news to him about how it all ends between them— denji will have to deal with the consequences, there is no way out of it. it's too late.
however, he did confess to bakugou that they 'need to talk' on their last trip, and while he's not trying to seek a cheap escape— it wouldn't hurt to hear his partner's thoughts. ]
do you want to know everything about me? or, what we have here is all that matters?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
blastedass) wrote2020-08-08 04:37 pm
@pochita
are you surviving?
no subject
of course i am! it's just some fucking heat!
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ok.
now ask me if i'm surviving.
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this place isn't normal though...]
are you dying, ripcord pec?
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[ the answer is: yes. ]
if the power goes off tonight in our base, i'll have to break into a functioning mall or something.
[ well, he assumes they simultaneously shut down the power in separate areas? he could be wrong. ]
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[is he having fun at denji's expense? yep!]
sleep in the tub. it'll stay cool in there.
[no, that's a seriously suggestion.]
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[ he will pretend bakugou didn't just admit they will endure two more months of this hell. nope. didn't happen. ]
.... the mall sounds better.
what if someone walked in to take a 12:00 am piss?
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[admit? he fucking told him! but this guy likes summer more than winter, so nyeh.]
the mall?! how the hell's it any cooler there than here?
lock the door.
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[ and bakugou wanted him to sleep in the tub. WHY DIDN'T HE THINK OF SHOUTO FIRST? smh. ]
i think deku is gone.
you okay?
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[technically has to be someone he's comfortable with, but anyways...
CAUSE HE'S NOT SLEEPING WITH SHOUTO IN THE SAME BED, DAMMIT!! even if the guy's a cold pack on one side.]
yeah. it's not the first time.
[he's glad denji isn't talking face to face with him.]
he's back home where he belongs.
no subject
not the first time he was gone?
well ... that sucks, huh?
it must feel like you're left behind.
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yeah. he showed up for a month in winter, then vanished for two months, then came back.
[way to rub it in, denji. thanks.]
i'm fine!
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[ it's not 'rubbing it in' - it's a gentle poke to drop his guard for once. ]
all i'm saying is ... i'm here if you ever wanna talk about it.
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before finally-]
it's fine. deku and i never really interacted much while he was here anyways.
no subject
[ it's something denji gathered from the small details from their conversation in the bathhouse and that shared memory. midoriya isn't just an old friend, he is someone who had a major influence on bakugou. in one way or another.
it gotta ... hurt a bit, right? even if they end up seeing each other again, bakugou might be feeling a bit off with the sudden departure. ]
no subject
[it's... a half truth. because he knows what's waiting for izuku back home. even if their worlds are paused, katsuki can't get over the feeling of being stuck here. worrying about his world, the people back there.
denji's right about izuku and how close he is to katsuki. he's only seen a glimpse of how the blonde used to treat the other boy. their relationship is infuriatingly complex, but...
yeah, it does hurt. though, what hurt more was the lack of interaction. the departure was almost a relief.]
you and topknot keep a steady interaction, right?
no subject
[ denji is still clueless about what awaits the young heroes back home, but he knows bakugou wouldn't lie to him. if he truly feels some level of ease— then this might be the best scenario for deku. the half-devil will just have to keep an eye on him in the past few days and make sure his partner is coping well. be there for him if he needs it.
ah, fuck. why did bakugou pull an uno reverse card here? ]
i think aki dating tsuru made our friendship easier. if that make any sense? i feel we needed someone to keep the mood light and fun and silly, so ... yeah.
[ a pause. ]
but, in vegas, he did end up seeing memories of my life that i was hoping he would never find out about. so, that fucking sucked.
no subject
how katsuki copes with that will be... a mix of things.
and he plays the reverse uno because talking about his feelings is never easy. even with the people he's closest to.]
that makes sense.
[it's not a distraction in the negative sense, but a release that lets the pressure of friendship not build up too much. people need space, time alone, and a different lens to filter through. not sure about the light and silly part, but whatever. katsuki knows his classmates are dumbasses.]
memories about what happened to him?
no subject
yeah, it's not a distraction— it's good to have someone to keep them from sinking lower into misery and tsurumaru had that talent. it kept the flow of the conversation a lot easier between them and they had other topics to discuss aside from the utter fuckery that awaits them back home.
well, it's denji's turn to have some time to reflect on an answer. it is hard to talk about feelings, he agrees with bakugou on this one, but his reason might be different. ]
no. he knows what happened to him. i told him a week after we showed up in this city. it's ... the memories of what happened after he was no longer part of my life. i wanted to protect him from that.
[ further failures on denji's part to protect another person he cares about. it's never-ending, isn't it? he truly had no control, no power, no influence ... ]
no subject
perhaps that same reason is why the blonde's more comfortable around his close circle of friends. they don't have to talk about what's going on back home, what waits for them, and can focus on something new and most-of-the-time more pleasant.
denji has all the time he wants as katsuki flops on his back and looks up at the ceiling. one of the perks of having the brain phone: hands free communication.]
that you had to move on without him or life keeps fucking with you?
no subject
it hurts him that he's not there to protect me ...
[ the hands-free communication is a blessing— especially in these types of conversations. it didn't mean denji's answers are coming out as fast as they usually are. it's a difficult topic. however, if he's expecting visibility from bakugou it's only fair he returns the favor. being a hypocrite will not help either of them to progress, so he has to suck it up.
unlike the other, denji's body is far too stiff and he ends up leaning back against the wall, finding a somewhat private corner along the street, seeking some relief under the shade. ]
it hurts me, too.
but, i didn't want him to know. i didn't want him to see me like that.
i hoped he'd think i'm doing well.
that i'm happy ...
no subject
[as frustrating as it is, aki shouldn't think it's his responsibility or need to be beside denji 24/7 all the time. that kind of thinking will only drive him further and further into despondency as each trouble denji faces equates to another failure on aki's part. a hero naturally feels that same kind of wrench when something fucks up and he or she wasn't there to stop it... but they can't be everywhere all at once.
katsuki's got the window to his room open and the bed stripped down to nothing but the top sheet with a plastic covering underneath. it's irritatingly-noisy, but it keeps the mattress from ending up a sweat-soaked mess while they figure out how to get the power stable again.]
what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?
no subject
[ it's a lot. in a way, he understands aki's feelings, and they both acknowledge they are struggling to cope with their cruel reality— they are trying their best to be better, to feel better; following the textbook. talk about it, cry your heart out, forgive, and then try to move on. they fucking did all of that. then why? why does it still feel so off?
he's quiet for a bit; expression going somber behind the flush from the mad heat, hair sticking to his sweat-drenched skin, yet he found himself in an odd trance that made him forget of physical discomfort. more silence, he then started walking down the narrow street again, idly seeking a nearby store or restaurant with a functioning cooling unit to recover. ]
do you agree?
that sometimes the person shouldn't know? just to keep them happy?
would you like that?
no subject
it'll always feel off. just the same as a scar will always be present on the skin. wounds like that heal, but scars only fade with time, never disappearing. it's easy to forget that. katsuki reaches for a nearby water bottle.]
that's not a simple answer. lying to someone to keep them happy is bullshit.
but with this, it's between you and him.
if he asked you what happened after he died, it's up to you to tell him or not, but both of you need to be ready for whatever happens next.
no subject
i'm asking you.
would you rather not know?
[ an honest question. denji could feel himself getting a bit nervous as he pushed through the crowd; he didn't predict a silly text of him whining over the heatwave to take such a turn and he wasn't prepared for any of this. his issue with aki is something he will have to handle since he chose to break the news to him about how it all ends between them— denji will have to deal with the consequences, there is no way out of it. it's too late.
however, he did confess to bakugou that they 'need to talk' on their last trip, and while he's not trying to seek a cheap escape— it wouldn't hurt to hear his partner's thoughts. ]
do you want to know everything about me?
or, what we have here is all that matters?
am i lying to you by not saying anything?
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