[ APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT HE TYPED ALL THAT!!! HOW UNGRATEFUL! ]
no you didn't because you're all embarrassed and shit
[ Which turns out to be extremely amusing to Till! He wins this! Whatever this is. ]
i didn't make the contest. what do you want me to do?
and i tried to. i think that is what i wanted.
after that first round she was not the same. i don't know if she was listening but maybe i caught her eye for just a second. i guess i understand now. it took me some time. i didn't realize it before. i think sua lost on purpose.
or i should say i am sure of it.
[ He isn't getting it now. Considering that perhaps it is for the best that things didn't pan out as he expected? Maybe he overestimated interest. Then again he has no idea what the fuck he is doing. How does it work anyway? They're not making products. They're just going to be watched? How is any of it remotely interesting? ]
[NO!! HE DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW ALL THAT WEIRD SHIT!!]
I'M NOT EMBARRASSED ABOUT ANYTHING!!
[There's nothing to win, dammit!! He literally told him his answer already! Till's a stupid vending machine refusing to take legal tender and spitting it back out like a crap job!]
you already said you can't rebel.
[So there goes the thing he wants Till to do. As for the rest of that... story, Bakugo's left frowning at the screen. Not even sure why Till's telling him this, but... guess it helps him work through something.]
you won't know until you get back home, huh.
[Technically if Till wants to get a job in a restaurant or shop, he'd be making stuff? Probably shouldn't ask where those places are getting the raw materials, but... it's something to do if he needs the directions.]
have you gotten any cards already?
[Doesn't need the details, Till. yes or no's fine.]
[ The Till vending machine wins! Time to spit that crisp legal note right in Bakugo's face. ]
i don't even know if she is alive. but if it's a maybe. i thought maybe i could do more but i'm so stupid. i can't even do anything with the only thing i'm good at.
[ Maybe. Maybe he just needs to vent. Just a little.
As for products. They're not that kind. However, they can be obtained from a shop. Till was obtained from a shop. Also, too bad! ]
[Bakugo's gonna dropkick this shitty vending machine and leave it busted all over the fucking floor for not doing its damn job! TAKE THE STUPID MONEY YOU ASKED FOR, DAMMIT!!]
haa? why the hell are you suddenly beating yourself up?
[Did he miss something here? Till went from growling at him to self-depreciating doomsday! Ugh, does he have to listen to another sob story? Yuck...
But the invitation to vent is there, albeit rudely conveyed.
And RIP on understanding the product implication. Bakugo's not gonna like hearing about that either.]
aa. you don't have to have full sex to trade cards.
[ The vending machine will now take that money, and in return, it will give nothing back. Life is suffering! ]
i just thought that i could do something
[ Does this help? No. It makes him feel worse. He can't change how irremediably useless he has been. He will, however, not mention it again. That's for his alone time in his room. When he is alone with nothing to do, all he can do is replay all his memories, even if he is beginning to question some of them.
What is said next sparks his interest enough not to end the conversation, so he doesn't have to think about how his approach was rejected. That's a little embarrassing after all. He really must have overestimated interest, and this guy had seemed more off than usual then. It's time to never bring that subject back up after this. ]
[Where's the fucking plug? He's gonna "THOOMP!!" and pull it right out, dammit! See if you take anyone else's money, you shitty box of treats!]
instead of bitching about wanting to do some vague "more", what's one concrete thing you could've done?
[He has no idea what he's trying to help Till triumph over in his mind. But letting him spin himself into a depressive state over some background regret's a fucking pathetic state to be in; Bakugo doesn't wanna be the guy sitting here listening to it! He's no stranger to wishing he could've done more. But "more" isn't an ideal you can accomplish. Just a never-ending goalpost forever out of reach.
An action, however... Yeah, so they're having the discussion now. Along with this OTHER discussion. Which... will also bring back up the topic Till thinks he can avoid.]
[ Unfortunately, this is a vending machine created by aliens. There is no plug. However, it will take more money. Keep your credit card away from it. ]
lost the last round
[ That is how things should have panned out if things had progressed normally. He could never predict that man, and as it turns out, things deviated even further from how Till assumed the round would end. He stopped singing. He gave up. He had no motivation to continue. Yet he got to live because of someone else's actions. He has time to think now, considering how quickly he was being ushered to the final round, it would have been impossible for him to win. He was on a second wind that could easily be knocked out of him. Barely rested, hardly lucid. How could he hope to win against the ruler of the stage? He was a mess. Ivan, he is certain, could keep it together. ]
i know what sex is. hiyori explained that to me. it's mating but it's not meant to produce products.
[He's not getting any more money from him, dammit! Not until this stupid machine gives him the snack he already paid for! Gonna shove a gift card in there next.]
you mean throw the competition?
[As much as it'd normally piss Bakugo off to have someone suggest giving up like that, doing so to save someone in danger is a caveat. If Till's had time to think about it, and this is the re-do result he came up with...
Amazing how a few words make things click. The realization "products" in Till's world mean people is fucking disgusting! And brings to light how Till views himself and other humans. Ugh... great.]
gross.
if two people are together at the same time, and they're going something sexual, only one person has to orgasm and it counts as sex. the cards trade.
[ That gift card is not coming back with anything! Forever gone. Perhaps after an hour, an expired Poptart will emerge. ]
i'm sure it's what sua must have done i almost did
[ He won't explain further. It's not simple. If his heart had been entirely set on death, if he hadn't felt weighted by loss and exhaustion. His opponent was not one he wanted to face or see. He should have taken action. He should have been himself. Then, perhaps, he could have secured himself a loss. ]
it is gross.
this whole this is gross.
when i have to do it, i'll do it. but that can wait. [ For now. He is going to return to ignoring that aspect of life at the resort. ]
[Time to turn the vending machine around, face the wall, and plaster an OUT OF ORDER sign on its ass.]
hmph i doubt you'll find yourself in that situation here
[He isn't going to dive into Till's life. If the guy's thought enough about his past to decide on a better course of action, that's about all Bakugo wants to bother with his gruff encouragement. It says a lot about Till's view of his own life and importance, but even heroes sacrifice themselves for others.
Hopefully Till won't have to make such a decision in his new life.]
you can go about a month before the resort starts forcing it. keep that in mind.
[ Jumped a few steps and already touching ass. Till just had to be a vending machine. ]
there is no going back
[ He knows. Rationally, he can only move forward, but more often than not, his thoughts linger on the past. Even at his most lucid, his thoughts race to that moment. In that instance, under the artificial rain, on that stage where he should have met his end. His guilt extends further back, to his childhood, another time he cannot return to. And he wants to paint over all of it. Cover that harsh red. Make it soft, make it bright and gentle. ]
right.
[ That too will be pushed away. Ignored. Rejected.
It's for his future self to deal with. ] i'll use a different approach [ Thoughtless appeasement. If he says that it should be enough. ]
[A broken vending machine that steals money and hoards its goodies.]
doesn't mean you can't learn from it
[Only an idiot forgets the past and refuses to look back on anything. No one got where they were today without going through everything behind them. Denying it is the same as denying yourself. Bakugo's not one to let himself be trapped in the past or weighed down by it, but he can't cut himself free of it either. Lessons were learned there.]
learn what exactly? don't be fucking stupid. there is nothing i can do with that. the next round is
[ That's right. He is here. He isn't being fast-tracked to the finals. Yet his question remains. What does he do with that memory? What does he glean from it? The only thing he feels is confusion, hurt, and loneliness. There was an empty spot. He can confront it. What if he doesn't like the answers? ]
i asked you what you'd do differently; you know what you regret. if you're in the situation again, don't make the same choice.
[Bakugo still disagrees with throwing any competition, but he has a feeling Till doing so would've saved someone he cared about. Can't say he's ever been in that situation, and would hate to be in it. But saving someone versus winning... Well in Bakugo's case, he'd figure out a way to do BOTH so fuck off!]
good
[At least that'll make trading cards with Till easier. For Bakugo.]
[ People only have a single life. He can't rewind time. He cannot even parse through those images and get a full picture of that man's choice. He can only regret and never escape a memory. He won't sleep well tonight, like any other night, only it'll be much worse. ]
whatever.
[ He still thinks it was a brilliant idea, but he won't mention it again to Bakugo. Perhaps he will seek a different opinion elsewhere. Maybe later. Much later. It isn't a pressing issue. It's one he isn't in a hurry to learn more about. With that last message sent, Till is going to ignore his watch. It feels like a reasonable spot to conclude their conversation. ]
[He'll leave Till to believe that (and if he means literally, he's not wrong; there's no alien stage here). Trying to turn back time is a stupid endeavor, but learning from the past is how people grow and improve. They get stronger, avoid making the same mistakes or regrets. Even if a memory is impossible to escape from, it doesn't have to control his life. Bakugo has his own regrets, an atonement he'll be making until he dies. But... he chooses it.
Maybe Till can find that strength of control at some point in his time here.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 6/5/25 23:47 (UTC)no you didn't because you're all embarrassed and shit
[ Which turns out to be extremely amusing to Till! He wins this! Whatever this is. ]
i didn't make the contest. what do you want me to do?
and i tried to. i think that is what i wanted.
after that first round she was not the same. i don't know if she was listening but maybe i caught her eye for just a second. i guess i understand now. it took me some time. i didn't realize it before. i think sua lost on purpose.
or i should say i am sure of it.
[ He isn't getting it now. Considering that perhaps it is for the best that things didn't pan out as he expected? Maybe he overestimated interest. Then again he has no idea what the fuck he is doing. How does it work anyway? They're not making products. They're just going to be watched? How is any of it remotely interesting? ]
fine. i won't ask for stuff
you tell me then.
no subject
Date: 6/6/25 03:11 (UTC)I'M NOT EMBARRASSED ABOUT ANYTHING!!
[There's nothing to win, dammit!! He literally told him his answer already! Till's a stupid vending machine refusing to take legal tender and spitting it back out like a crap job!]
you already said you can't rebel.
[So there goes the thing he wants Till to do. As for the rest of that... story, Bakugo's left frowning at the screen. Not even sure why Till's telling him this, but... guess it helps him work through something.]
you won't know until you get back home, huh.
[Technically if Till wants to get a job in a restaurant or shop, he'd be making stuff? Probably shouldn't ask where those places are getting the raw materials, but... it's something to do if he needs the directions.]
have you gotten any cards already?
[Doesn't need the details, Till. yes or no's fine.]
no subject
Date: 6/6/25 05:25 (UTC)[ The Till vending machine wins! Time to spit that crisp legal note right in Bakugo's face. ]
i don't even know if she is alive. but if it's a maybe. i thought maybe i could do more but i'm so stupid. i can't even do anything with the only thing i'm good at.
[ Maybe. Maybe he just needs to vent. Just a little.
As for products. They're not that kind. However, they can be obtained from a shop. Till was obtained from a shop. Also, too bad! ]
i haven't done sex here
no subject
Date: 6/9/25 03:08 (UTC)haa? why the hell are you suddenly beating yourself up?
[Did he miss something here? Till went from growling at him to self-depreciating doomsday! Ugh, does he have to listen to another sob story? Yuck...
But the invitation to vent is there, albeit rudely conveyed.
And RIP on understanding the product implication. Bakugo's not gonna like hearing about that either.]
aa. you don't have to have full sex to trade cards.
[Time to tell Till how to "cheat" the system.]
no subject
Date: 6/9/25 17:14 (UTC)i just thought that i could do something
[ Does this help? No. It makes him feel worse. He can't change how irremediably useless he has been. He will, however, not mention it again. That's for his alone time in his room. When he is alone with nothing to do, all he can do is replay all his memories, even if he is beginning to question some of them.
What is said next sparks his interest enough not to end the conversation, so he doesn't have to think about how his approach was rejected. That's a little embarrassing after all. He really must have overestimated interest, and this guy had seemed more off than usual then. It's time to never bring that subject back up after this. ]
are you going to tell me what it is
no subject
Date: 6/9/25 23:43 (UTC)instead of bitching about wanting to do some vague "more", what's one concrete thing you could've done?
[He has no idea what he's trying to help Till triumph over in his mind. But letting him spin himself into a depressive state over some background regret's a fucking pathetic state to be in; Bakugo doesn't wanna be the guy sitting here listening to it! He's no stranger to wishing he could've done more. But "more" isn't an ideal you can accomplish. Just a never-ending goalpost forever out of reach.
An action, however... Yeah, so they're having the discussion now. Along with this OTHER discussion. Which... will also bring back up the topic Till thinks he can avoid.]
do you at least know sex terms? a handjob?
[For example.]
no subject
Date: 6/10/25 01:33 (UTC)lost the last round
[ That is how things should have panned out if things had progressed normally. He could never predict that man, and as it turns out, things deviated even further from how Till assumed the round would end. He stopped singing. He gave up. He had no motivation to continue. Yet he got to live because of someone else's actions. He has time to think now, considering how quickly he was being ushered to the final round, it would have been impossible for him to win. He was on a second wind that could easily be knocked out of him. Barely rested, hardly lucid. How could he hope to win against the ruler of the stage? He was a mess. Ivan, he is certain, could keep it together. ]
i know what sex is. hiyori explained that to me. it's mating but it's not meant to produce products.
no subject
Date: 6/10/25 02:32 (UTC)you mean throw the competition?
[As much as it'd normally piss Bakugo off to have someone suggest giving up like that, doing so to save someone in danger is a caveat. If Till's had time to think about it, and this is the re-do result he came up with...
Amazing how a few words make things click. The realization "products" in Till's world mean people is fucking disgusting! And brings to light how Till views himself and other humans. Ugh... great.]
gross.
if two people are together at the same time, and they're going something sexual, only one person has to orgasm and it counts as sex. the cards trade.
no subject
Date: 6/10/25 03:37 (UTC)i'm sure it's what sua must have done
i almost did
[ He won't explain further. It's not simple. If his heart had been entirely set on death, if he hadn't felt weighted by loss and exhaustion. His opponent was not one he wanted to face or see. He should have taken action. He should have been himself. Then, perhaps, he could have secured himself a loss. ]
it is gross.
this whole this is gross.
when i have to do it, i'll do it. but that can wait. [ For now. He is going to return to ignoring that aspect of life at the resort. ]
no subject
Date: 6/11/25 02:33 (UTC)hmph
i doubt you'll find yourself in that situation here
[He isn't going to dive into Till's life. If the guy's thought enough about his past to decide on a better course of action, that's about all Bakugo wants to bother with his gruff encouragement. It says a lot about Till's view of his own life and importance, but even heroes sacrifice themselves for others.
Hopefully Till won't have to make such a decision in his new life.]
you can go about a month before the resort starts forcing it. keep that in mind.
no subject
Date: 6/13/25 05:50 (UTC)there is no going back
[ He knows. Rationally, he can only move forward, but more often than not, his thoughts linger on the past. Even at his most lucid, his thoughts race to that moment. In that instance, under the artificial rain, on that stage where he should have met his end. His guilt extends further back, to his childhood, another time he cannot return to. And he wants to paint over all of it. Cover that harsh red. Make it soft, make it bright and gentle. ]
right.
[ That too will be pushed away. Ignored. Rejected.
It's for his future self to deal with. ] i'll use a different approach [ Thoughtless appeasement. If he says that it should be enough. ]
no subject
Date: 6/13/25 19:25 (UTC)doesn't mean you can't learn from it
[Only an idiot forgets the past and refuses to look back on anything. No one got where they were today without going through everything behind them. Denying it is the same as denying yourself. Bakugo's not one to let himself be trapped in the past or weighed down by it, but he can't cut himself free of it either. Lessons were learned there.]
a different approach?
no subject
Date: 6/14/25 06:42 (UTC)learn what exactly? don't be fucking stupid.
there is nothing i can do with that. the next round is
[ That's right. He is here. He isn't being fast-tracked to the finals. Yet his question remains. What does he do with that memory? What does he glean from it? The only thing he feels is confusion, hurt, and loneliness. There was an empty spot. He can confront it. What if he doesn't like the answers? ]
i won't ask for stuff
no subject
Date: 6/14/25 13:02 (UTC)if you're in the situation again, don't make the same choice.
[Bakugo still disagrees with throwing any competition, but he has a feeling Till doing so would've saved someone he cared about. Can't say he's ever been in that situation, and would hate to be in it. But saving someone versus winning... Well in Bakugo's case, he'd figure out a way to do BOTH so fuck off!]
good
[At least that'll make trading cards with Till easier. For Bakugo.]
no subject
Date: 6/16/25 05:33 (UTC)[ People only have a single life. He can't rewind time. He cannot even parse through those images and get a full picture of that man's choice. He can only regret and never escape a memory. He won't sleep well tonight, like any other night, only it'll be much worse. ]
whatever.
[ He still thinks it was a brilliant idea, but he won't mention it again to Bakugo. Perhaps he will seek a different opinion elsewhere. Maybe later. Much later. It isn't a pressing issue. It's one he isn't in a hurry to learn more about. With that last message sent, Till is going to ignore his watch. It feels like a reasonable spot to conclude their conversation. ]
no subject
Date: 6/16/25 18:41 (UTC)Maybe Till can find that strength of control at some point in his time here.]
no subject
Date: 6/17/25 19:46 (UTC)🎀 good wrap for me!
Date: 6/17/25 20:59 (UTC)