[ it isn’t so much about how noticeable she is, scars making her stick out like a sore thumb regularly. maki just never expects people to care about her. ]
pisses me off we couldn’t do anything to stop them from inside. we tried our best to break out. i killed so many of them.
if you all hadn't destroyed the skulls you did, the fog never would've lifted. and the messages you got out gave us an edge in the rescue. don't look down on your own efforts.
i wont pity you but you should know you’re also strong. stronger than that time for sure.
being in the castle reminded me of my home. of my family. of the abuse and harassment. it really never goes away. i don’t know how to move on. maybe neither of us can.
[ she destroyed it all, just like mai asked. why is she still haunted? ]
you already moved on. even day you wake up and keep going forward, you move on. it won't go away, but you decide how much control it has on your future.
[learning to live with your ghosts. you can let them drag you down, or you can accept them and use their presence to move forward, move on, grow stronger, improve, and become a better person.]
fuck what you're used to. you don't have to live as that. live with what you want, take from your experiences to go stronger. you choose what weighs you down.
[not all weight is bad. morals weigh heroes down all the time but morals aren't bad. yet heroes choose to live by those morals.]
i don't know if we get a choice necessarily. we're born with sorrows on our back passed down to us. but i get what you mean. i'll bounce back im just feeling like a piece of shit for now.
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blastedass
aftermath of kaiju mission (un: twin)
Date: 10/20/24 22:01 (UTC)im sorry for yelling at you a couple months ago.
i dont know why but i was thinking about it in the dungeons.
it was stupid.
no subject
Date: 10/20/24 22:16 (UTC)if you're yelling at me, it means you're alive.
[after what happened this month, that's more important.]
no subject
Date: 10/20/24 22:18 (UTC)yuji said you noticed i was gone.
thanks for that.
[ it didn't really occur to her that anyone would take note of her absence. ]
no subject
Date: 10/20/24 22:22 (UTC)[but even that's not a fair trade in his opinion.]
you're not that invisible.
[he's used to seeing her around during missions. she's one of the ones he checks in on. visually.]
pisses me off i couldn't get there sooner.
no subject
Date: 10/22/24 04:23 (UTC)pisses me off we couldn’t do anything to stop them from inside.
we tried our best to break out. i killed so many of them.
no subject
Date: 10/22/24 04:45 (UTC)if you all hadn't destroyed the skulls you did, the fog never would've lifted. and the messages you got out gave us an edge in the rescue.
don't look down on your own efforts.
no subject
Date: 10/24/24 21:02 (UTC)i lost control and attacked our own people.
i let myself get captured like a fucking idiot too.
I hate how weak they made me.
no subject
Date: 10/24/24 21:06 (UTC)[there's a surprising period of silence afterwards. wrestling with something.]
i know what that feels like.
a group of villains kidnapped me because i was too weak.
it never goes away.
no subject
Date: 10/27/24 22:08 (UTC)being in the castle reminded me of my home. of my family. of the abuse and harassment.
it really never goes away.
i don’t know how to move on. maybe neither of us can.
[ she destroyed it all, just like mai asked. why is she still haunted? ]
no subject
Date: 10/28/24 00:32 (UTC)you already moved on. even day you wake up and keep going forward, you move on.
it won't go away, but you decide how much control it has on your future.
[learning to live with your ghosts. you can let them drag you down, or you can accept them and use their presence to move forward, move on, grow stronger, improve, and become a better person.]
no subject
Date: 11/9/24 05:31 (UTC)i'll get used to living with this too.
and make them pay for making me weak.
[ who is she talking about exactly? the kaiju, but also lilith. she just can't say it in a place they monitor. ]
no subject
Date: 11/9/24 07:12 (UTC)live with what you want, take from your experiences to go stronger.
you choose what weighs you down.
[not all weight is bad. morals weigh heroes down all the time but morals aren't bad. yet heroes choose to live by those morals.]
no subject
Date: 11/15/24 02:58 (UTC)we're born with sorrows on our back passed down to us.
but i get what you mean.
i'll bounce back im just feeling like a piece of shit for now.
no subject
Date: 11/15/24 05:07 (UTC)you always have a choice to be you.
good. that's the only thing we can do. bounce back. otherwise, we lose.
we all feel like crap right now. better have it clear through winter.