[ The explosion hurts, and it makes his skin ache, but he ignores it and shoves it aside. He wonders if this is how it felt for the people at the mercy of Sukuna's technique, to be drawn into his fire as he fought against that Volcano head, if this is how it felt to be burned in Shibuya when completely at the mercy of a monster -
he winces, forcing himself to breathe, stumbling back and collapsing against the mat. It takes him more than a few moments to gather his breathing, to force himself to gasp in and out, before he turns his head up to stare at Katsuki. He's not sure of the best way to go now, the best option, but he looks around before he decides that he can use his strengths, too.
He's bleeding now, after all.
Yuji still can't do convergence well, still can't do much more than what Choso has been desperately trying to teach him, but he's getting better. It's enough that he can try to shoot drops of his blood towards his friend, trying to pierce him and distract him as he runs forward to batter him with hist fist again. ]
[As much as he didn't want to play into Yuji's masochistic penance, it's happening and Katsuki reluctantly accepts it. Whatever's going through the sorcerer's mind, he needs this. It's not that Yuji needed to hit something; he needed something to hit him. Katsuki has to trust him to know when enough's enough.
But when he said that he wasn't going easy on him... There's no timing to let Yuji take his breather moments. As soon as the sorcerer turns to stare at him, Katsuki's already moving. Blasting to the side in a zigzag pattern to avoid predicting his movements. Left right, up down, a pinball between explosive bursts.
Those drops of blood are instantly countered by a gatlin gun spray of explosive rounds, peppering the air with orange balls that explode and burst amid the blood to cook it midair. As soon as Yuji bursts through the smoke to get in range, Katsuki meets him through the same smoke-
-and attempts to counter Yuji's fist with a manji kick of his own. Look, it's not perfect, but he's worked on it hard.]
[ Yuji takes the kick and crumbles, just a little.
It's impressive, to see someone take a move that he thought was his own and use it against him, and he can't help the nice swell of excitement he feels at seeing Katsuki use it. It does mean, however, that there's a sharp pain in his chin, his chest, and he has to push himself through it and wheeze, trying to get back together again.
He hasn't slept well, he hasn't been eating properly, it's probably not going to end well, but he also has no reason to stop, no reason to pause when the burning, angry energy inside of him feels like it's suffocating him.
Instead, Yuji gathers his energy into his fist and rushes at Katsuki again, just to try and batter him with almost inhuman punches, at a speed that betrays just how abnormal Yuji really is. ]
[Katsuki's been there and seen that happen. That shitty copycat Monoma took his QUIRK and used it against him. Dek- Izuku, copied his movements for his own fighting style. Even Ashido took his and Shoto's battles as inspiration for her own improvement. It's a weird feeling, both impressed at the movement and irked cause that's your damn move!
But it also means Katsuki was impressed enough to add it to his arsenal. He feels pride when he uses the move and it connects. Even as Yuji pushes through the impact.
He really is trying to burn himself right now. Has he ate? Has he slept? Fuck, what's fueling him? Katsuki reels backwards at the sudden rush of punches. Shit, he's fast! Two clip him hard, one on the shoulder, one on the side. Body dodging, twisting, ducking, arms trying to block. Blood leaks down the side of his head, a bruise blooming on his shoulder. Physically Yuji has the advantage over him; he always has.
Katsuki protectively slams both arms in a cross in front of himself, palms facing outward.]
[ The explosion hits, and Yuji wasn't prepared for it at all.
He should've been, really, all things considered; he should've expected for Katsuki to use his Quirk properly, but he had been too focussed on trying to batter out his own energy and thoughts. When it hits, he takes it, but it hurts, aching over his skin and making him stumble back, dropping to one knee and panting, hard.
After all of this, his head feels woozy, and his stomach hurts, and his jaw aches, not just from the punches but also from the ever-lingering vampirism. He hadn't slept, even after seeing Raidou in the morning, and now he feels like he could collapse at any second.
Lifting his head, he looks at Katsuki and waves his hand, wiping at his face. Blood or tears? He's not sure. Could even be sweat. ]
[Breathing hard, chest rising and falling amid pants, Katsuki stands his ground in the smoke. There's no telling if Yuji will emerge from the cloud on either side or straight in front of him. Hell, he could appear behind him now.
Something wet drips off his chin, a stinging pain in his temple. Detonating a point-blank explosion in front of himself like that... Anger, defensive, panic, a surging "get off me!" technique that leaves his arms throbbing from the impact. Also from Yuji beating on them in that furry rush. He's not sure if cursed energy can interrupt his Quirk's biology. But a few sparks pop and snap around his hand unbidden, leftover crackling from the blast.
As the smoke clears, Katsuki's left slightly crouched with his arms still x-ed over his face, red eyes peering out from behind the upper v of scuffed skin. Only lowering them a bit once he sees Yuji taking a knee. Already bruises are starting to mottle his arms, one of his knuckles feels like he hasn't cracked it for years. Fuck...
Don't close combat with Yuji in this state. He lets his arms fall to his side, trying to rein in his breathing. Katsuki doesn't like the panicked feeling that left him in. Ripped his control away for a moment.]
It's hard to tell, but there's one obvious thing going through his mind: if he keeps going, he's going to either hurt himself or hurt Katsuki to the point of no return, and that's the last thing he wants to do. Even here, with his heart half-broken and his body yearning for something to truly exhaust him, the last thing he wants to do is hurt his friend, to do any kind of damage that might be difficult to undo.
Instead, he slumps back, flops onto his ass, and then collapses, starfish style, onto the mats below him, closing his eyes and nodding his head.
He's probably had enough for now. Any more and his blistered, bruised skin would really become a problem. ]
Yeah. I yield.
[ He doesn't bother opening his eyes. Katsuki's not the kind of guy to go out of his way to badger or attack someone when they've already surrendered, he's too heroic for that. ]
[This isn't about winning right now. Not in terms of a victor. This is about Yuji's feelings. Whether he's vented enough to make it through the day without breaking down and stumbling.
Katsuki shakes his hand to throw the tingling feeling at his fingertips away. Not entirely successful. So he works on trying to pop his knuckle back into place. Takes a few painful attempts, but with a crack that sounds like he just broke something, the joint returns. It hurts, in a good way, and he curls his fingers thrice to flex the sensation away.
Now comes the difficult part. Yeah, not the battle. That part's simple. Slug away. This part's trying to suss out if Yuji's telling the truth or not. So many times he's told people "I'm fine" and finally Denji called Katsuki out on it in the simplest terms possible: are you hero "fine" or actually fine? It's been impossible to get that out of his head, especially with Katsuki's friends who do the same damn thing...
Yuji could want more and he'd give it to him. Until the sorcerer or himself is knocked out. Watching Yuji splay out like a starfish on the floor is only half assuring. Kind of tempting to jump him. But that's beneath Katsuki.]
[ Yuji lets one arm move, covering his face as he breathes in and out, harsh and ragged.
It's not just from the spar, is it? It helped, but it hasn't made everything go away. When he closes his eyes, he can still see the flashes of what Sukuna did behind his eyes; he can see Mahito touching Nanamin, the explosion of his body; he can see Kugisaki's final moments in front of. He can picture his own failure to get Mahito, his own wish to die, thrumming through him like an echo.
His shoulders shake, just a little, and he wheezes out a sound, his heart aching. ]
You won. I couldn't keep up this time, dandelion. You were great.
[ Gojo-sensei, trapped in a box.
Geto-san's kids, murdered.
Ijichi-san, stabbed.
Megumi, almost killed.
So much, and it feels like it happened a day ago. ]
[Katsuki lets that go without explanation, reaching up and wiping a thumb across the cut on his temple. That stings. He brings the bloodied digit to his mouth and licks it. Gross, right? Still dealing with that damn vampire shit. Trying to control the harsh breathing isn't easy, but his battered chest appreciates the attempt.
Of course this isn't going to make whatever Yuji's dealing with leave. It's a panacea, makes it feel better for a bit before everything comes back. But what can he do asides from help? Beating Yuji down might help him feel as if some payment's been reached, but can atonement come from beating yourself up?
There's a soft thump as Katsuki sinks down cross legged beside Yuji, reaching out to take his friend's hand. One hand, held in his grip, thumb running over reddened knuckles.]
Yuji. [How hard, impossible even, to forgive yourself... even for things that weren't your fault.]
[ Katsuki sits, slumped down, and Yuji doesn't move.
It's hard, when he's leaned on his friend so much already. It's hard, when he's already relied on Raidou, when he's seen Nanami, but it doesn't feel real. How can it feel real, when he's going to go back to a world where none of them exist?
It makes his stomach hurt.
Sighing, he tries to tear his arm away, to look over at Katsuki, but it's hard to see through the bleary tears. ]
[He has no answer for that. To go from a place where he has so many people to a home where none of them are. Yuji's gained a lot here. How the hell can he expect him to be happy to go home where none of that is? Weighed down already by his own guilt and pain from experiences before. If Yuji tries hard to pull his hand away, Katsuki will let him, but if his heart isn't in it, then he'll keep the other boy's hand in his own. Heroes are nosy people by default.
Seeing the tears in his eyes hurts. They're not from the injuries just now. They're far deeper.
Katsuki shifts his position and lies down beside Yuji instead, head propped on one arm tucked beneath it. Close enough to offer warmth, but not forcing anything more than presence.]
I'm here.
[For whatever. Even if it's simply to exist next to and believe in a boy who has a hard time doing that himself.]
[None of the details. But he knows Shibuya was a resounding loss for the sorcerers. One Yuji feels extremely at fault for. Katsuki hasn't asked out of respect for Yuji's feelings.]
I see.
[How would he feel the following year, when the anniversary of All Might's retirement came around? ... Guilty.]
[... fuck. On top of whatever else happened, this too? The gut-wrenching feeling returns. There's no way he can completely resonate with that burden of guilt.
Even if the logical point says Yuji didn't do it, of course he'd feel like he was responsible.]
[ Yuji shakes his head. Does he wish that? He's not really sure, but it feels like something that's there, at the forefront of his mind. An easy thought, because he's so used to feeling it, so used to it being a presence in his mind. ]
I guess I had enough fingers... They could've put him down. The others... They'd have been safer.
[He hates it whenever Yuji says that, despite knowing full well why he says it each time. Carrying a burden like that, knowing what it could cause, would cause... Wouldn't the greater good for all be his death? It's a noble reason if you think about it logically.
But... the world can't be saved without innocent Yuji's death?
Katsuki refuses to believe that, as cliche and foolish as it sounds.]
Yuji. [His gaze on the other boy never wavers.] Do you think Gojo, Megumi, Nanami, and Megumi are idiots?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
blastedass) wrote2020-08-08 04:37 pm
no subject
he winces, forcing himself to breathe, stumbling back and collapsing against the mat. It takes him more than a few moments to gather his breathing, to force himself to gasp in and out, before he turns his head up to stare at Katsuki. He's not sure of the best way to go now, the best option, but he looks around before he decides that he can use his strengths, too.
He's bleeding now, after all.
Yuji still can't do convergence well, still can't do much more than what Choso has been desperately trying to teach him, but he's getting better. It's enough that he can try to shoot drops of his blood towards his friend, trying to pierce him and distract him as he runs forward to batter him with hist fist again. ]
no subject
But when he said that he wasn't going easy on him... There's no timing to let Yuji take his breather moments. As soon as the sorcerer turns to stare at him, Katsuki's already moving. Blasting to the side in a zigzag pattern to avoid predicting his movements. Left right, up down, a pinball between explosive bursts.
Those drops of blood are instantly countered by a gatlin gun spray of explosive rounds, peppering the air with orange balls that explode and burst amid the blood to cook it midair. As soon as Yuji bursts through the smoke to get in range, Katsuki meets him through the same smoke-
-and attempts to counter Yuji's fist with a manji kick of his own. Look, it's not perfect, but he's worked on it hard.]
no subject
It's impressive, to see someone take a move that he thought was his own and use it against him, and he can't help the nice swell of excitement he feels at seeing Katsuki use it. It does mean, however, that there's a sharp pain in his chin, his chest, and he has to push himself through it and wheeze, trying to get back together again.
He hasn't slept well, he hasn't been eating properly, it's probably not going to end well, but he also has no reason to stop, no reason to pause when the burning, angry energy inside of him feels like it's suffocating him.
Instead, Yuji gathers his energy into his fist and rushes at Katsuki again, just to try and batter him with almost inhuman punches, at a speed that betrays just how abnormal Yuji really is. ]
no subject
But it also means Katsuki was impressed enough to add it to his arsenal. He feels pride when he uses the move and it connects. Even as Yuji pushes through the impact.
He really is trying to burn himself right now. Has he ate? Has he slept? Fuck, what's fueling him? Katsuki reels backwards at the sudden rush of punches. Shit, he's fast! Two clip him hard, one on the shoulder, one on the side. Body dodging, twisting, ducking, arms trying to block. Blood leaks down the side of his head, a bruise blooming on his shoulder. Physically Yuji has the advantage over him; he always has.
Katsuki protectively slams both arms in a cross in front of himself, palms facing outward.]
Diee!!
[All charged up. KA-BWOOM!!]
no subject
He should've been, really, all things considered; he should've expected for Katsuki to use his Quirk properly, but he had been too focussed on trying to batter out his own energy and thoughts. When it hits, he takes it, but it hurts, aching over his skin and making him stumble back, dropping to one knee and panting, hard.
After all of this, his head feels woozy, and his stomach hurts, and his jaw aches, not just from the punches but also from the ever-lingering vampirism. He hadn't slept, even after seeing Raidou in the morning, and now he feels like he could collapse at any second.
Lifting his head, he looks at Katsuki and waves his hand, wiping at his face. Blood or tears? He's not sure. Could even be sweat. ]
You win.
no subject
Something wet drips off his chin, a stinging pain in his temple. Detonating a point-blank explosion in front of himself like that... Anger, defensive, panic, a surging "get off me!" technique that leaves his arms throbbing from the impact. Also from Yuji beating on them in that furry rush. He's not sure if cursed energy can interrupt his Quirk's biology. But a few sparks pop and snap around his hand unbidden, leftover crackling from the blast.
As the smoke clears, Katsuki's left slightly crouched with his arms still x-ed over his face, red eyes peering out from behind the upper v of scuffed skin. Only lowering them a bit once he sees Yuji taking a knee. Already bruises are starting to mottle his arms, one of his knuckles feels like he hasn't cracked it for years. Fuck...
Don't close combat with Yuji in this state. He lets his arms fall to his side, trying to rein in his breathing. Katsuki doesn't like the panicked feeling that left him in. Ripped his control away for a moment.]
Had enough?
no subject
It's hard to tell, but there's one obvious thing going through his mind: if he keeps going, he's going to either hurt himself or hurt Katsuki to the point of no return, and that's the last thing he wants to do. Even here, with his heart half-broken and his body yearning for something to truly exhaust him, the last thing he wants to do is hurt his friend, to do any kind of damage that might be difficult to undo.
Instead, he slumps back, flops onto his ass, and then collapses, starfish style, onto the mats below him, closing his eyes and nodding his head.
He's probably had enough for now. Any more and his blistered, bruised skin would really become a problem. ]
Yeah. I yield.
[ He doesn't bother opening his eyes. Katsuki's not the kind of guy to go out of his way to badger or attack someone when they've already surrendered, he's too heroic for that. ]
no subject
Katsuki shakes his hand to throw the tingling feeling at his fingertips away. Not entirely successful. So he works on trying to pop his knuckle back into place. Takes a few painful attempts, but with a crack that sounds like he just broke something, the joint returns. It hurts, in a good way, and he curls his fingers thrice to flex the sensation away.
Now comes the difficult part. Yeah, not the battle. That part's simple. Slug away. This part's trying to suss out if Yuji's telling the truth or not. So many times he's told people "I'm fine" and finally Denji called Katsuki out on it in the simplest terms possible: are you hero "fine" or actually fine? It's been impossible to get that out of his head, especially with Katsuki's friends who do the same damn thing...
Yuji could want more and he'd give it to him. Until the sorcerer or himself is knocked out. Watching Yuji splay out like a starfish on the floor is only half assuring. Kind of tempting to jump him. But that's beneath Katsuki.]
Then you won.
[Against himself.]
no subject
[ Yuji lets one arm move, covering his face as he breathes in and out, harsh and ragged.
It's not just from the spar, is it? It helped, but it hasn't made everything go away. When he closes his eyes, he can still see the flashes of what Sukuna did behind his eyes; he can see Mahito touching Nanamin, the explosion of his body; he can see Kugisaki's final moments in front of. He can picture his own failure to get Mahito, his own wish to die, thrumming through him like an echo.
His shoulders shake, just a little, and he wheezes out a sound, his heart aching. ]
You won. I couldn't keep up this time, dandelion. You were great.
[ Gojo-sensei, trapped in a box.
Geto-san's kids, murdered.
Ijichi-san, stabbed.
Megumi, almost killed.
So much, and it feels like it happened a day ago. ]
no subject
[Katsuki lets that go without explanation, reaching up and wiping a thumb across the cut on his temple. That stings. He brings the bloodied digit to his mouth and licks it. Gross, right? Still dealing with that damn vampire shit. Trying to control the harsh breathing isn't easy, but his battered chest appreciates the attempt.
Of course this isn't going to make whatever Yuji's dealing with leave. It's a panacea, makes it feel better for a bit before everything comes back. But what can he do asides from help? Beating Yuji down might help him feel as if some payment's been reached, but can atonement come from beating yourself up?
There's a soft thump as Katsuki sinks down cross legged beside Yuji, reaching out to take his friend's hand. One hand, held in his grip, thumb running over reddened knuckles.]
Yuji. [How hard, impossible even, to forgive yourself... even for things that weren't your fault.]
no subject
It's hard, when he's leaned on his friend so much already. It's hard, when he's already relied on Raidou, when he's seen Nanami, but it doesn't feel real. How can it feel real, when he's going to go back to a world where none of them exist?
It makes his stomach hurt.
Sighing, he tries to tear his arm away, to look over at Katsuki, but it's hard to see through the bleary tears. ]
Katsuki.
no subject
Seeing the tears in his eyes hurts. They're not from the injuries just now. They're far deeper.
Katsuki shifts his position and lies down beside Yuji instead, head propped on one arm tucked beneath it. Close enough to offer warmth, but not forcing anything more than presence.]
I'm here.
[For whatever. Even if it's simply to exist next to and believe in a boy who has a hard time doing that himself.]
no subject
Then he speaks. ]
Shibuya.
[ How much has he told Katsuki? He doesn't remember. ]
It was a year ago. Today.
no subject
I see.
[How would he feel the following year, when the anniversary of All Might's retirement came around? ... Guilty.]
no subject
[ Yuji sighs, and it comes out a little garbled. ]
It all happened. It was... Ten minutes? Ten minutes. Something like that.
no subject
Ten minutes. Damn.
[Such a short time, but a lot can happen in that amount. Including changing everything.]
no subject
[ Still unable to move, too deep in his own emotional grief, Yuji sighs. ]
Everything went wrong, and I...
no subject
His chest clenches in his own recollection. The forest training was supposed to be just that. A class excursion... and then...
...everything went wrong.]
You?
no subject
[ His hands clench, gripping around nothing. ]
I couldn't stop any of it.
no subject
Even if the logical point says Yuji didn't do it, of course he'd feel like he was responsible.]
Yuji...
no subject
[ Yuji shakes as he tries so, so hard to keep grip of his tears. ]
I should've been better. It was my responsibility.
no subject
It...
[wasn't your fault, wasn't fair to expect that of you, wasn't something you could have known, wasn't your responsibility, wasn't you
Yuji's heard all those things before.]
You would've stopped it, if you could.
cw: suicide ideation
[ Yuji shakes his head. Does he wish that? He's not really sure, but it feels like something that's there, at the forefront of his mind. An easy thought, because he's so used to feeling it, so used to it being a presence in his mind. ]
I guess I had enough fingers... They could've put him down. The others... They'd have been safer.
no subject
But... the world can't be saved without innocent Yuji's death?
Katsuki refuses to believe that, as cliche and foolish as it sounds.]
Yuji. [His gaze on the other boy never wavers.] Do you think Gojo, Megumi, Nanami, and Megumi are idiots?
no subject
[ He knows what's going to happen.
Katsuki is going to do something to try and make him feel better, and it strikes him, suddenly.
He had told Nanamin that he wanted to live, now. It's not a lie - he does, he does want to live, to grow older and take care of his friends, but...
It's hard to remember that, right now. ]
They're not stupid.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)