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[blastedass]

« Great Explosion Murder God » 💥 Dynamight 💥 TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION Katsuki Bakugou ✦ My Hero Academia
RESIDENCE ✦ Bakugou / Midoriya Residence
GEMBOND ✦ Ruby
"Katsuki Bakugo. Make it fast or hang the fuck up."

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Comments

[defendure]

Trying to keep you is selfish...isn't it?

[ He does always take the burdens on alone. It's not only his failing, but Izuku is prone to it, tends to automatically shoulder the worst of things. Right now, his definition of "selfish" is asking Katsuki for anything he thinks might not be freely given. Or just...for everything that is implied with staying.

He's so bad at asking people to care about him. It never really feels deserved. Katsuki's a large part of why that is, because despite those apologies, the past hasn't been altered or erased. It's still alive in each of them, the ways they grew up, together and apart.

His hand still grips Katsuki's tightly, even if he isn't sure he deserves it. ]

You do too.

[blastedass]

Talk about this when you're not a half-frozen Dekucicle.

[Because there are different levels and variations of "keep" in this place and Katsuki's not sure Izuku's all that up to braining the emotions needed for that kind of conversation. It might be as simple as him wanting to keep him close for the night, which Katsuki already agreed to before Izuku even showed back up. Going through what he did, seeing Izuku leave... He doesn't want the other boy out of his sight for a while. Not that Izuku has reason to go off all feral loner bunny in Noctium, but...

He's got a very tired brain right now. Izuku went through a lot. He'll never get the sight of his eyes out of his head. The way they looked. So blank, so dark, so empty, threatening to be both blazing with fire and yet completely burned out simultaneously. Katsuki never wants to see these eyes again.

Katsuki tightens his hand around Izuku's again, then gives it a tug so he'll let go of his shirt and instead can fully wrap his hand around the other boy's. Locking fingers together and holding onto him as he looks down at him.]

I don't care if it's selfish or not. Look at me. Touch me. Whatever you have to to know I'm here.

[defendure]

[ His eyes still look more tired than they did. There are circles under them that haven't yet gone away, though they're a bit less heavy than they were when Katsuki found him the last time.

Katsuki laces their fingers together, though, and Izuku's mind stumbles for a second before his shoulders slump a bit. Tension's still there, but some of it drains.

His eyes catch, searching. ]

...okay.

[blastedass]

[Katsuki's doing a bang up job not showing his 72+ hours of no sleep, adrenaline and determination powering him through even now. He focuses on Izuku, putting him first because that's what's most important right now. Making sure Izuku's safe and all right. He's gone through... a lot. And Katsuki doesn't want him to have any thoughts or feelings suggesting he shouldn't have come back with them.

... even if their life is on pause against thanks to fucking Noctium.

At least those circles under Izuku's eyes are fading a bit and the light's come back into his irises. As Izuku's shoulders sink, Katsuki draws him close, then heads for the bathroom. Won't take him long to get a hot shower going, always keeping one hand in Izuku's the entire time.

Every now and then he looks back at him, watching, wondering what it is he's looking for/at.]

[defendure]

[ Katsuki can't stop those thoughts and feelings from occurring sometimes, because Izuku's always even now a little bit unsure about his standing. It might have been the root cause of how it was so "easy" to walk away. He thought of himself as a removable part of the equation no matter how close they got. Something that could be lifted right out.

It is and isn't different here. He doesn't think (usually) that he's a replaceable cog that can be lifted right out (mostly).

He's not sure what Katsuki's looking at him for either. Trying to make sure he's washing his hair thoroughly enough? Wanting to make sure Izuku doesn't waltz off to go do something stupid like go back for any other new arrivals? Probably just looking to see what Izuku's watching for, but his brain's a bit too tired for that connection.

Usually Izuku is the one staring. Once his hair is wet and mostly clean, though, he tugs on Katsuki's hand again. ]

[blastedass]

[He knows. For all his attempts at stopping Izuku from doing this or that, Katsuki's never managed to succeed. Make him leave him alone and stop following him, make him give up his dreams to be a hero, make him shut the fuck up and stop mumbling, make him lose. So many things. He couldn't even make him come back to U.A. without the rest of his class going after him as well. Granted, they likely would've lynched Bakugou if he tried to go after Izuku all on his own...

But right now, his focus is on keeping Izuku here. Reminding him he has a place he belongs. That place is with him. There's no replacing Izuku. He went and got his ass back from his rouge state and he'll drag it back here now that he's returned to Noctium.

Sure. Washing his hair thoroughly. Go with that, Izuku. Or try and jump out the window to go play hero out in the blizzard-drenched crater. Either of those works. It's also to make sure he doesn't end up dropping to sleep leaning against the counter. Doesn't even dare risk sitting on the toilet for the same reason. He's tired, exhausted, completely drained. But like a skeleton running on magic, his adrenaline is making him move and pay attention alongside that determination.

The hand tug ends up drawing him into the shower with him and he moves to stand close to Izuku under the heated stream.]

[defendure]

[ Being an integral part of an entire class is still new to him. That role was always Katsuki's when they were kids - their classes were always the same and they always spun out and revolved around the guy with the best Quirk. The biggest fish in their small pond. Now it's different, and their classmates don't really consider a Quirk enough to make anyone the center of anything - but Izuku still habitually tends to think of himself as less than even if he digs his heels in when anyone tries to really use him as a punching bag these days.

Katsuki needs a shower too. Izuku goes to shampoo his hair since he's there and not doing anything useful... ]

[blastedass]

[Not many people, if anyone who's not a villain, tries to use him as a punching bag these days. Granted Katsuki always does, but that's due to wanting to help atone via training with him, and there are plenty of their classmates who spar with Izuku, not holding back if they happen to smack him good in the face (though if he's lucky, Ojiri's blows at least come with a Puffy Tuft extra).

Katsuki's highly doubtful Izuku will go running off here in Noctium, mostly due to there being nothing needing that kind of driven hero in this world and because Izuku's likely been pulled from a non-demon-bunny state, considering his U.A. uniform being on him in the crater, rather than his Ghastly Gear.

He seems to soften some when hands work shampoo into his hair, though quickly shakes out of the flicker of his utter raggedness and goes to wash Izuku's hair as well, completely missing the reality the other boy's previously done it. It's starting to turn into autopilot on his mind.]

[defendure]

[ Residual instincts he's trying to shake off. It's not like he even holds anything against anyone...he's bad at that. Right now, he half assumes for a second that Katsuki just thinks he did a bad job, but there's something in the quiet softness that jars at him.

Katsuki's not doing great. He doubts he'll get an answer at all if he asks right now, when the other hero seems single minded in his goal of getting Izuku washed and in bed and protected from all sides.

So instead of asking or pointing out he's washed his hair, he lets it happen. Once they've got their hair clean and scrubbed off their bodies, they can get out and dry off. ]

[blastedass]

[Who knows. Maybe he did a bad job. They dumped him back in the bath the morning after he fell asleep when he finally got back. Made sure he was all nice and clean before giving him some time to rest. Katsuki's still unable to get that look out of his mind, the exhaustion on Izuku's face and just how damn wretched and empty... If it takes another hair scrub to help it, then another hair scrub it is.

There's no protest to get him to stop and Katsuki works the lather in a few times. Perhaps some of it is also a silent want to touch him, to know he's here and he's not gone and he's not running around getting shot at, attack, blown up, soaked, stalked, hunted, and everything else Izuku had to fucking deal with while he was out there trying to shoulder everything on his own.

Katsuki gets out once they're done, staying close and bundling Izuku in a towel to dry him off. Doesn't actually do the drying, but at least drops a towel around his shoulders to get him started.]

[defendure]

[ Once prompted, Izuku actually does start toweling off. He wants to sleep again, but he's almost too jittery to think it's possible in that weird way you get when you're strung out. He dozed on the ride over because Katsuki caged him in and it felt...safe.

Nudges Katsuki with his foot to Katsuki's, though. ]

You too.

[blastedass]

[Katsuki blinks at the nudge before scowling and grabbing the towel off the hook. Rub rub dry dry. It's not like his hair looks any different wet or dry, and blowing it doesn't make it poof any more than it's already a bombastic spiky poof.

He rubs at his shoulder and arm a few times, lingering a bit on the scar. Sure, he's had it the entire time he's been here, but originally it'd been treated by GemSci. Now it's from home.

Still reminds him of all the reasons and the one reason why he has it...]

[defendure]

I don't think any of my pants will fit you.

[ Might have something left behind by Katsuki at one point though...or, well, the room is right upstairs. But Izuku's reluctant to let him go, for the reverse of the reasons Katsuki's mind keeps slowly catching on things. Izuku's eyes; his own scar; the way they're both way too tired. ]

[blastedass]

I don't need them.

[Katsuki is far too thorough to have left his clothes in Izuku's room. Maybe have left a towel in there once or twice, but that's not really the same thing. While he rationalizes his room is a quick distance away... he's not leaving Izuku either.

So he simply goes to the door with the towel around his waist, checks on Shoto visually from the doorway, and then heads back into Izuku's room.

They're leaving the doors open tonight. Reasons.]

[defendure]

Um...okay. [ Izuku notices the door being left open and won't argue it, but it does make him a little bit antsy. Like he's being watched in that way where no one trusts him and he can't argue it because he deserves that second degree.

He doesn't say so, though. Just eyes his closet and opens it up to sort of stare, confirming his clothes are still there and then...

Not knowing what he wants to do about them. It feels a bit overwhelming. He's been living in his hero costume, and then just whatever got thrown at him after. ]

[blastedass]

[It's not just him. It's also Shoto. Izuku has friends beyond Katsuki and each one of them came after him. Spending however long it took to track him down, exerting whatever words and effort and tactic they could to catch him and bring him back. They care about him and none of them want him to leave them again. Most of them aren't here, but the ones who are, who came, want to protect their friend. So out of respect for that, and because Izuku totally deserves to get watched like a hawk, the door's left open.

It's partially trust, mostly protection.

Katsuki moves over to him and stands beside him to look in the closet with him. It's a lot. Truth of the matter is, he's not come back home since returning either. Hasn't even been to his room yet. (Shoto and Jiro fed their fish.)

He takes Izuku's hand back.]

You can sleep like this if you don't want to pick.

[defendure]

No thank you, Kacchan. I'd rather not... [ He does pull his hand away this time, because he needs it to get dressed. He's not really comfortable enough to sleep without clothes with his door open and other people in the house; actually, he's not sure he wants nakedness to be a thing at all in his room given that. It feels awkward, so he nudges Katsuki away gently. ]

You should go to your room.

[ He's still kind of staring at his clothes. He'll make a decision eventually, he's sure, if he just looks at it long enough. ]

[blastedass]

[Just giving you the option so you don't feel like he's standing here tapping his foot impatiently waiting for you to pick something out of your damn closet. And yeah, this is why Katsuki's still in the towel. It's awkward, but considering they've all taken baths and showers together, including the Big One after getting Izuku back home, he's not too messed up about it.

What matters here most is Izuku's comfort. So... whatever he wants right now.]

You're coming with me if I go.

[Arms folded across his stomach, he barely rocks at Izuku's nudge. There's no way he leaving Izuku alone right now. If they want to go to Kasuki's room, he can pick his own clothes out in a split second and they can return to Izuku's room.

...

Or he'll just reach out, grab a pair of Izuku's sweats, and pull them on. It's not like he's gonna be dragging on some fucking spandex. They're sweats. Might just grip his ankles a bit tighter and higher than Izuku's would.]

[defendure]

[ Izuku eventually just grabs a shirt. Doesn't care which one. Sweats that fit him properly, since they're his.

Then he wanders over to the bay window, choosing to sprawl there instead of his bed, back to the wall and legs stretched out at far as they can, still bent at the knees as he looks out the window. ]

[blastedass]

[Katsuki follows him over, wearing the darkest shirt he could see in Izuku's closet. Second darkest, since the first one was a bit snug around the shoulders.

Bay window comes in for the win. And after Katsuki bitching about it all those months ago... What a loser.

He takes a seat on the seat opposite Izuku, resting one ankle between the other boy's to keep the connection between them. The windows are cold from the house being empty for a few days. Snow drifting past the glass, flecking the moonlight and dark skies above.]

Feel better?

[defendure]

[ Izuku pulls back his legs, drawing them to his chest and putting a little space between them. It's a bit of a change, but that feels a little too intimate to him right now. He could have grabbed a blanket, but didn't bother. ]

I'm okay. [ What else does he ever say to that question, though? ] You can use the bed, Kacchan.

[blastedass]

[Katsuki notices the subtle shift, but doesn't comment on it, instead resting one leg on the window seat and the other left to hang off it. He won't try to get that close to him for now. Face to face means hand-holding is awkward, but Izuku might be finicky right now as he tries to get things settled.

So he can choose the pace.]

I'm not tired.

[defendure]

[ He'll...probably be finicky for a while. He's not sure if he's going to sleep or not; might stay awake for a day or so instead until he's too tired to be jittery. He can't really do anything about it so it's not worth giving too much attention to, from his point of view. ]

You look tired.

[blastedass]

[Katsuki's silent at the comment, only rolling his eyes to the side and looking at Izuku across the way. It's strange to see the other hero not wanting physical contact. Especially when he's like this, when any other time he'd be stubbornly clinging to him for some kind of touch.]

I was out in that blizzard too, remember?

[defendure]

[ He was definitely being clingy earlier? But he has his reasons that he probably doesn't intend to share, cheek against the window as he looks out at the snow. ]

Yes. You should get some sleep, Kacchan.