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[blastedass]

« Great Explosion Murder God » 💥 Dynamight 💥 TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION Katsuki Bakugou ✦ My Hero Academia
RESIDENCE ✦ Bakugou / Midoriya Residence
GEMBOND ✦ Ruby
"Katsuki Bakugo. Make it fast or hang the fuck up."

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[defendure]

[ They've unlocked idiot mode: who can stay awake longer? Because Izuku's a stubborn asshole sometimes and he's clearly restless. Clean, at least, and a bit warmer - but his room feels too small or too large or maybe just too overwhelming.

But he's not trying to leave it even if that's the case. ]

I'm not going to leave the room.

[ Isn't sure he's allowed. ]

[blastedass]

[Tired brains do not make good choices, ya know? Katsuki doesn't know what's really bothering the other boy. He thought whatever state he'd find Izuku in would ultimately waste him regardless and easily send him crashing into his familiar bed.

Looks like he's got something else going on.

Katsuki nods at the promise.]

I know.

[Because he's there.]

... is it everything?

[defendure]

Is what? [ The question jars him out of looking outside, mostly because he doesn't immediately get it.

Everything...? ]

[blastedass]

Whatever's keeping you up right now.

[Thoughts, feelings, nightmares, not knowing if this is real or not.]

[defendure]

I'm okay, really.

[ The same worn-out defense he always used when it's about him. He's gotten scolded a lot lately for taking things on his own, and Katsuki himself said the others were there to lean on...but some of it just doesn't seem like things he should share.

Right now, Izuku knows he doesn't matter more than his friends. They look like they're exhausted. So whatever they need to feel better is what they'll do. He chose the window seat so anyone and everyone could see him after surmising that's why the door was deliberately left open. ]

I sort of slept on the way over. [ More a surface level doze, but...same difference. ]

[blastedass]

I'm okay, really.

[Truth be told, if Katsuki wasn't so worn out right now, hearing that damn excuse would've elicited a much angrier response. He's still thinking they're weak and can't handle the burdens he "has" to handle on his own. Or maybe it's just Izuku being exhausted, not thinking much right now, and simply repeating the same autonomous crap he's grown up saying.

That latter one seems the less punchable offense...

Katsuki remains by the window for a while. But after his head dips once, he knows it's only a matter of time. Izuku did "sleep" on the way over.

There's a shift of clothing and the blonde pushes himself up. But a much larger rush of fabric sees him drag the entire top two layers of bedding off Izuku's bed. Without waiting for a protest, he tucks the one around Izuku, wrapping it about his shoulders and body.

The other one Katsuki takes for himself as he drops to his knees in front of his friend and wraps his arms around his waist, locking his hands behind him. If he has anything to say to Izuku, it doesn't make it out of his mouth. Because as soon as he's got his arms around Izuku, Katsuki rests his head on his lap and is out like a light.]

[defendure]

[ Less thinking they're weak and more...thinking it doesn't matter that he's uncomfortable like this. He can deal with it if it means everyone else isn't uncomfortable. He tenses when Katsuki grabs him. Doesn't really untense after, but he doesn't move or shove Katsuki off either.

He doesn't like this being on display for a variety of reasons - among them the nagging, glum acceptance that he'll be yelled at for it later - and he wishes it wasn't. But Katsuki needs this so it's fine. He got used to sitting up awake in a variety of uncomfortable positions while he was AWOL, so sitting in that exhausted haze for however long Katsuki sleeps isn't really a big deal for him. The background noise of his own troubled emotions is easy to quiet down to think of nothing at all, trying to pass the time until he's allowed to process everything on his own.

He's quiet and still for the rest of the night, but he doesn't sleep at all. ]

[blastedass]

[Perhaps he shouldn't have grabbed him. Perhaps he shouldn't have chased him. Perhaps he shouldn't have forced him... but he does all these things. Because Izuku's thinking isn't going to help any of them, himself included. They had to go after him, they had to fight him, they had to grab him and show him with all their strength that they cared about him. Enough to stand against his own desire to protect them and say they would be better off together than apart. But most importantly...

that he matters when he's uncomfortable. Even if that made him uncomfortable.

Someday, he might begin to believe it. Might understand that his leaving made them all uncomfortable. Katsuki included.

It's only about three hours later that the blonde wakes up. Call it stubborn. Doesn't know. But he's awake, eyes opening a little to find himself in Izuku's lap. He's still, listening, and from the sound of Izuku's breathing--or lack thereof--he knows the other boy isn't asleep.

No movement. No attempt to change things. Only some quiet words in the dark.]

How can I help?

[defendure]

[ It's a little jarring to hear. Izuku shifts, but holds himself back from moving too much. It wasn't long enough at all, probably; he's not sure if he moved and woke Katsuki or not, but feels bad about it anyway.

Moves just to get a hand free, smoothing Katsuki's hair out of his face without anything other than weak starlight to guide him. Doesn't keep the contact up for long. ]

Just by taking care of yourself. Go back to sleep, Kacchan.

[blastedass]

[It's not something Katsuki wants to explain. Nightmare. Anxiety. Stubbornness. Could be any of those things. But he's awake and he's not sure if he's cold or hot, dizzy or confused, exhausted or energized. It's a weird waking moment of waking from badly needed sleep.

The gentle brush of his bangs along his forehead and away from his face is strangely comforting, but he can't shake the feeling of missing something. Of needing to do something before he goes to sleep. Izuku's words don't help either.]

... do you know why we went after you?

[defendure]

You didn't want me to fight All For One alone.

[ There's something a little reluctant in his tone, and he speaks quietly, trying to pitch his voice nearer to a whisper. This sort of confrontation... ]

...can we talk about this another time, Kacchan? It's so late.

[blastedass]

[That's only part of the reason, but Katsuki doesn't pursue the topic because Izuku asks him. Instead, he lifts his head and turns it so he's resting on the other cheek now.]

Then what'll help you sleep?

[defendure]

I...don't think I can sleep tonight.

[ Tired or not, he's just too anxious right now. The things that will help...he can do them tomorrow, but right now isn't really the best time to talk. ]

As long as you guys can sleep it's okay.

[blastedass]

[Katsuki frowns at the information. Not because he thinks Izuku's lying, but because he knows he's telling the truth. And outside of hurting himself, Katsuki's aware he won't be able to stay awake with him.]

Do you want me to touch you or leave you alone?

[defendure]

Whichever helps you sleep.

[ It's true. That's his preference. It's also true the intimacy is making him more anxious right now, but Katsuki went out of his way to stay close and touch him, so... ]

It's okay. I want you here.

[blastedass]

[... sigh. Katsuki feels like he's in a corner, he doesn't know what's best to do, there's no apology he can say this time, there's no Iida here to pass the torch to, he has to consider Shoto as well, and somehow help a boy who doesn't know what equates to that "help" he needs.

Katsuki opts in the end to simply sit up against the wall beside Izuku's perch on the bay window, wrapping the blanket around him. At least he can rest beside him. Stay close.]

[defendure]

[ As far as Izuku's concerned...he doesn't need help for this. It's his own fault for asking a little too much, and any discomfort he feels is a deserved punishment. It's not even really a punishment if other people get some comfort or pleasure out of anything that makes him anxious; that's simply a silver lining that makes it worth the effort.

Whenever he tells Katsuki he'll tell him if he needs help, he's telling the truth - until he actually doesn't like what's going on around him or needs something else, and then it simply becomes a lie if there's anyone else in the equation whose needs are opposite his own - Katsuki included. It's the sort of thing he gets stubborn about, too. There's no way he'll share any desires that go against what the others want from him right now.

He won't leave, though. So there's that. ]