Then they wouldn't care enough to try. ["Accidentally" winning is a damn moronic. Anyone who doesn't want to grab victory shouldn't bother competing. The point of victory is competition and crushing all obstacles in front of you! It's meaningless to exert effort otherwise! Every muscle screaming at him for going over his previous reps record, each night his legs ached, each thumb swipe taking blood from a cut, all gunned towards another plateau of success.]
Heroes need confidence and energy. Otherwise they'll crumble the moment they attempt anything. [He knew what he wanted to be since a young age, staring after All Might's blazing glow in admiration and determination. A impossible goal if he didn't believe in himself and his capabilities. To conquer any challenge.]
( The question comes after a brief pause, the crunch of a few leaves underfoot filling some silence as they move along the sunny path they've found their way onto. )
The first seed of that idea planted in your mind, I mean. Was it in your heart from the start? Did you hear about it in the achievements of others and want the same? Did your parents encourage you? I'm curious, since I can't imagine a world with heroes at all.
All Might. [Zero hesitation. His rough voice steeps in pride and determination.] The greatest hero who ever lived! He never lost a fight in forty years of heroics! No matter what opponent or challenge he faced, he met it head on and triumphed! He was the world's Symbol of Peace.
[It'll be all right now. Why? Because I AM HERE!]
I'm going to be a hero even greater than All Might. [An impossible goal to best the man he idolizes, but what person sets a goal they know they can accomplish? You've already met it.] I want to crush this fucking bird underfoot and save everyone here. Just like All Might would.
( What an immediate, confident answer. Childish, but in such a warm way it makes him want to lean into it, somehow. Esikko's smile persists for that reason, eyes trailing up to watch the false sky. All Might sounds so... silly, so cute, like a little short version of Bakugo's long and excessive one. He notices that. )
A role model... Is that what you'd call it? I can't wrap my head around it at all, but it sounds nice.
( Idolizing someone, looking up to them, being inspired by them. Logically, he can get it, but he has no idea how it must feel. It's fascinating. )
If anyone could manage it, I think it would be you, you know.
[Ever since he can remember, his answer has always been All Might. Seeing him on the television screen kicking the shit out of bad guys, pushing aside debris and emerging with everyone safe, standing in the sunshine as people live in peace around him, the very image of victory and strength! So many children in his world wanted to be a hero because of All Might. Bakugo's never lost his admiration for the man, or the drive his life sparked in his heart.]
Aa. He was almost every kid's role model. You didn't have anyone in your world you looked up to? Doesn't have to be a real person. [While Bakugo's only heard of Esikko's family and castle staff, did he have no one? Not even people he read about in books or dreamed of in his free time? Surely he learned magic in some part to be great like another who came before him.
Self-inspired ambition is pretty fucking rare... There's nothing to compare to asides from vaguely "better than this" status quo.]
Haa? You think? [He cracks his knuckles and detonates an explosion in his palm.] I'll prove it to you!
( A genuine question from Esikko as he tries to think back. Books, trips to watch plays, his parents, his grandparents. Among all of that, there are people he liked, people he hated, people who formed plenty about who he is. But someone to look up to? The longer that he thinks on it, the more difficult it becomes. All he can picture...? )
There were plenty of people I thought "I don't want to be anything like that" about. I suppose that's the closest thing. My parents already formed the image of who I was supposed to be in their minds, right? So, I had those goals.
( Ones that weren't his own. He presses his own fingertips together in an idle fidget, eyes sliding to the side to watch Bakugo's explosion and the smoke that follows. It's enough to earn a smile, again, and he breathes out his laugh. )
Fine, I'll do more than think, then. I'll be counting on you, hero. ( It's playful, but there's meaning in the way he extends his palm out to his side, dramatic, theatric, so that if it's rejected he doesn't have to feel bad. ) Save me~ okay?
[Almost everyone had someone they looked up to. Even villains had people they aspired to be like, emulate, carry on their work or ambition. Kids ran around wanting to be as great as their favorite heroes, whether those were actual heroes or a parent or work figure. Does it surprise him Esikko didn't have someone like that growing up? Not really. Probably because he never looked at it like that.]
I don't give a shit what image your parents had in their heads. Did you have anyone you want to be like?
[Defining himself by everything he's not is one way, but all it leaves in the end is a void, which still lacks a definition or identity. Even after jettisoning everything else out.]
A lot of people were told who or what they should be growing up. [Including his and Esikko's mutual acquaintance.] All that does is fuck them up if they hold onto it too tightly. You won't grow up to be who you are if you keep trying to grow up to be someone else's idea of you.
[Bakugo wanted to be like All Might, but he also wanted to surpass All Might, and he never wanted to BE the man himself. Maybe Esikko can't answer the question. Doesn't mean he won't pound the idea into his head.]
Hmph! You better. [Count on him, acknowledge he's trustworthy, believe he can do what he says he can. An ashen brow arches at Esikko's hand, extended and waiting. Ugh, really? Gonna turn his explosive awesome moment into something sappy? Bakugo grumbles, glancing side as his mouth ducks under the collar of his jacket.
But he takes Esikko's hand in his own maybe-too-warm-post-explosion grip and pulls him to his side.] Wuss.
( With a happy laugh, he follows that tug, hand squeezing Bakugo's back with delight. He allows that name call to slide by without comment, even if his free hand does move over to fake-slap at Bakugo's arm as if in retaliation. He keeps holding that hand, happy to have the excuse for closeness again.
It helps him think a little more, digging past old memories, repeated and changed many times over. With a soft little hum, he relents. )
I... suppose there were some book characters that I connected with. ( Ones he absolutely doesn't want to talk about, for how embarrassing it is, but there's something more, he thinks. He had passed over it in an earlier thought, those visits with his grandmother, but it wasn't just that he liked her— he found her strong, and kind, and helpful, right? )
And, mm... No, you're right, there is someone. My grandmother. It feels so long ago that my memories clogged up, a bit, but I do think she would be my answer.
[His hand is strong, warm, palms far tougher than most people Esikko's gripped. A lifetime to explosions going off above his skin over and over. Bakugo ignores his feather-light attempt to whap his arm, not a single bit sorry for calling him a wuss. Look at that wussy slap! Way to prove him right, Prince Prick! Leaving the stream behind, he leads them into another path, this one inclined downward and encouraging the occasional foot brake along their way.]
Uh-huh. [As encouraging as it sounds dismissive, like Bakugo knew Esikko had an answer if he only bothered thinking about it long enough to bypass his initial woe-is-me defenses. Does he really have to embarrass this guy to prove he's not the lonesome dangler Esikko always makes himself out to be? Damn right he will should he need to!]
Your grandmother? [First time Bakugo's ever heard of Esikko having any family beyond his shitty mom and dad. His tone reflects his surprise and interest, though smirks in a smug "told ya" when Esikko mentions his memories got clogged up. That's what he thought. Has no one pushed the prince past his usual shell?] Something you liked about her?
( Congratulations, Bakugo, on being the very first person not just here, but in Esikko's many lives to ask him about himself enough to get to the secret lore: he was a grandma's boy. His fond little smile, foreign for his face, says as much. )
Well, yes. I loved her. Everything about her was perfect, other than giving birth to my idiot of a father. She said as much, too.
( He laughs a little with his exhale at that, fingers curling more around his hand hold. )
She's why I became so interested in flowers. She'd always have time for me, so I'd run to see her as often as I could, to the point where I got scolded for wasting time. Even still, when I showed up, she'd always coincidentally have sweets for me, even if she didn't eat much of them herself.
( His chest hurts thinking about those days being stuck in the past, no more. If only she could see him now. )
I probably caused her a lot of trouble, always running to her when I shouldn't. But she never let me see any of that, you know?
[He's a stubborn bastard. Did Esikko really think he'd be able to sit behind his glacier walls and make Bakugo give up while the sound of explosions steadily pound away at his reserves over and over? While he isn't someone who pries into people's personal lives, if he wants to know something, he'll dig it out of them. Not sure what's more surprising, that Esikko's a bachan boy, or the strange smile on his face while speaking of her.]
Did she grow flowers too? [If she was the one who got Esikko so into his horticulture lifestyle. It feels like a damn relief to finally know at least one fucking person in the prince's world was a good influence on him, and left some positive mark on his life. Che, it was starting to sound like a damn sob-story fanfiction.] Sounds like she cared about you a lot.
[She wasn't afraid or disgusted like the rest of the castle staff.]
Haa? You're always so damn quick to poison shit! [Fuck! Esikko puts himself down, voices his assumed problematic existence, instinctively believes he was nothing but a burden on everyone, as if he can't possibly accept someone actually was positive towards him.] If she didn't say it, then you weren't a pain in her ass, idiot! Don't decide for her what you were to her.
( Esikko is a little surprised by that last outburst, fingers subconsciously moving to loosely try and intertwine with Bakugo's, just barely— just a quiet search for reassurance that he doesn't even catch himself.
Much like he hadn't thought of the implications or way he thought of his own last comments. )
I'm not just making it up, you know? My parents were always telling me the trouble I put halmeoni ( grandma ) through.
( Not a thought that originated from him, but the negativity he holds never was, originally, was it? He blinks a few times, first at the other and then down the path he's leading them, considering. )
...I do think she didn't mind it, though. Or that she felt I was worth the time. I suppose that's why I enjoyed visiting her so much.
But she passed while I was still quite young. ( Otherwise things might have been different, he thinks. He always felt like she was trying to make them so, anyway. ) I remember refusing to talk to anyone for at least a week... Mm, aside from my younger brother.
( His free hand twirls a strand of his hair around a finger. ) But yes, the palace garden was her doing, and she had her own plants in her rooms, as well. She taught me secrets on their uses, their growth in our weather, their meaning... and how to find out more, of course.
[He's lucky Bakugo doesn't take their entwined fingers and punk Esikko right on the nose with his own damn hand! Without letting go. Tempting... Serve him right for trying to darken the glimmer of light Bakugo pried out of the prince's brain. Wasn't easy, you know! He could've dropped the topic minutes ago!]
What the hell, are you five years old? You're a grown adult, dammit! Look at your own memories and decide for yourself what they mean to you! You don't have to believe everything your parents say in your head.
[Parents shape and mold their children for better or worse, but there comes a time when the child is old enough to decide for himself. No longer able to blame his parents on his thought process, feelings, or actions. Esikko might never break free of his parents' influence, but he doesn't have to subject himself to their abuse further.]
If she thought you were worth it, then believe her over anyone else. She knows herself best. [No matter what others say of her or imply about her choices and actions. Bakugo shifts his steps, leading them around the bend and taking the next incline slower. Steep drop.]
Hmph, no wonder you turned your room into a greenhouse. [The person he's fond of had one while Esikko was growing up. Emulation, preference, simple efficiency? Any of those. He's done a few things his parents did, even though Bakugo gruffly denies doing anything like them.]
( Despite it being a scolding, Esikko laughs a bit. It's shorter, no less genuine but with a hesitation that makes it clear he's getting a little emotional thinking about it— but nothing he can't keep himself together for. It's just— )
I think she would have liked you.
( The realization of that. The idea that she never got to see him make any friends, only continue to deal with the world the way it was. The idea that she'd have joined Bakugo in ribbing him only to softly pinch his cheeks and draw him closer, to soothe him for it all. The comfort within stern insistence.
He sighs a little. )
In any case, you're right. I know. Her memory isn't poisoned, so don't scowl so much. This is a date, isn't it? ( He swings their joined hands just once, playful. ) I just haven't told anyone about her before, so I was surprised by the topic, you know?
[Esikko's been chuckling a fair bit since he brought up his grandmother. Did finally remembering someone he actually cared about and looked up to break some of his normal demure somber open? No regrets if he did. There's more to life in this man than the prince gives himself credit for.]
Hmph! She can get in line. [The ironic part being, in the future, despite his aggressive demeanor, Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight is popular among senior citizens as a Pro Hero. He obviously never had the chance to ask his future self about his future life. Far too busy trying to imprison each other.
Bakugo steps atop a larger stone, elevating himself for a quick pop, and drops back to ground level, causing Esikko's arm to momentarily lift and fall along with him.]
Then watch what you say before spewing that negative crap! [If Esikko doesn't want him scowling so much or snarling at him.] Think about shit first, and defeat yourself. Otherwise I'll crush you for you every time.
[Merciless. Even on dates. No, he's not telling Esikko to shut up and stuff his bad feelings. He's telling him to recognize his own pessimism and confront it internally, using his own strength and positive feelings. Friends are good, but using them as crutches all the time will only weaken his legs.
Bakugo silently appreciates Esikko's admission about how private this memory is, and he'll keep it guarded behind his own lips.] There's another river coming up. You wanna cross it or take the bridge?
( But he's fond, brushing it off like that. He's only recently gotten friends in the first place, so it's a stunted sort of catch-up, working through when to reach out and when not to lean, but he's trying his best. And for once, he thinks he's doing fairly well for himself!
Which is why he allows himself a moment to consider that question, weighing the pros of each. But who is he kidding? )
Let's cross it. You won't let me slip, so it's a safe sort of challenge, right? Hehe.
( To help himself get used to water more and more. And more excuse to keep holding this hand. He's honestly just surprised he's still able to keep moving without being out of breath. Improvements really are noticeable when he stops to think about it, now... )
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no subject
Date: 12/17/25 22:18 (UTC)Heroes need confidence and energy. Otherwise they'll crumble the moment they attempt anything. [He knew what he wanted to be since a young age, staring after All Might's blazing glow in admiration and determination. A impossible goal if he didn't believe in himself and his capabilities. To conquer any challenge.]
no subject
Date: 12/18/25 08:11 (UTC)( The question comes after a brief pause, the crunch of a few leaves underfoot filling some silence as they move along the sunny path they've found their way onto. )
The first seed of that idea planted in your mind, I mean. Was it in your heart from the start? Did you hear about it in the achievements of others and want the same? Did your parents encourage you? I'm curious, since I can't imagine a world with heroes at all.
no subject
Date: 12/23/25 14:36 (UTC)[It'll be all right now. Why? Because I AM HERE!]
I'm going to be a hero even greater than All Might. [An impossible goal to best the man he idolizes, but what person sets a goal they know they can accomplish? You've already met it.] I want to crush this fucking bird underfoot and save everyone here. Just like All Might would.
no subject
Date: 12/24/25 08:02 (UTC)A role model... Is that what you'd call it? I can't wrap my head around it at all, but it sounds nice.
( Idolizing someone, looking up to them, being inspired by them. Logically, he can get it, but he has no idea how it must feel. It's fascinating. )
If anyone could manage it, I think it would be you, you know.
no subject
Date: 12/28/25 03:08 (UTC)Aa. He was almost every kid's role model. You didn't have anyone in your world you looked up to? Doesn't have to be a real person. [While Bakugo's only heard of Esikko's family and castle staff, did he have no one? Not even people he read about in books or dreamed of in his free time? Surely he learned magic in some part to be great like another who came before him.
Self-inspired ambition is pretty fucking rare... There's nothing to compare to asides from vaguely "better than this" status quo.]
Haa? You think? [He cracks his knuckles and detonates an explosion in his palm.] I'll prove it to you!
no subject
Date: 12/29/25 07:09 (UTC)( A genuine question from Esikko as he tries to think back. Books, trips to watch plays, his parents, his grandparents. Among all of that, there are people he liked, people he hated, people who formed plenty about who he is. But someone to look up to? The longer that he thinks on it, the more difficult it becomes. All he can picture...? )
There were plenty of people I thought "I don't want to be anything like that" about. I suppose that's the closest thing. My parents already formed the image of who I was supposed to be in their minds, right? So, I had those goals.
( Ones that weren't his own. He presses his own fingertips together in an idle fidget, eyes sliding to the side to watch Bakugo's explosion and the smoke that follows. It's enough to earn a smile, again, and he breathes out his laugh. )
Fine, I'll do more than think, then. I'll be counting on you, hero. ( It's playful, but there's meaning in the way he extends his palm out to his side, dramatic, theatric, so that if it's rejected he doesn't have to feel bad. ) Save me~ okay?
no subject
Date: 12/30/25 00:17 (UTC)[Almost everyone had someone they looked up to. Even villains had people they aspired to be like, emulate, carry on their work or ambition. Kids ran around wanting to be as great as their favorite heroes, whether those were actual heroes or a parent or work figure. Does it surprise him Esikko didn't have someone like that growing up? Not really. Probably because he never looked at it like that.]
I don't give a shit what image your parents had in their heads. Did you have anyone you want to be like?
[Defining himself by everything he's not is one way, but all it leaves in the end is a void, which still lacks a definition or identity. Even after jettisoning everything else out.]
A lot of people were told who or what they should be growing up. [Including his and Esikko's mutual acquaintance.] All that does is fuck them up if they hold onto it too tightly. You won't grow up to be who you are if you keep trying to grow up to be someone else's idea of you.
[Bakugo wanted to be like All Might, but he also wanted to surpass All Might, and he never wanted to BE the man himself. Maybe Esikko can't answer the question. Doesn't mean he won't pound the idea into his head.]
Hmph! You better. [Count on him, acknowledge he's trustworthy, believe he can do what he says he can. An ashen brow arches at Esikko's hand, extended and waiting. Ugh, really? Gonna turn his explosive awesome moment into something sappy? Bakugo grumbles, glancing side as his mouth ducks under the collar of his jacket.
But he takes Esikko's hand in his own maybe-too-warm-post-explosion grip and pulls him to his side.] Wuss.
no subject
Date: 12/30/25 06:16 (UTC)It helps him think a little more, digging past old memories, repeated and changed many times over. With a soft little hum, he relents. )
I... suppose there were some book characters that I connected with. ( Ones he absolutely doesn't want to talk about, for how embarrassing it is, but there's something more, he thinks. He had passed over it in an earlier thought, those visits with his grandmother, but it wasn't just that he liked her— he found her strong, and kind, and helpful, right? )
And, mm... No, you're right, there is someone. My grandmother. It feels so long ago that my memories clogged up, a bit, but I do think she would be my answer.
no subject
Date: 12/30/25 20:50 (UTC)Uh-huh. [As encouraging as it sounds dismissive, like Bakugo knew Esikko had an answer if he only bothered thinking about it long enough to bypass his initial woe-is-me defenses. Does he really have to embarrass this guy to prove he's not the lonesome dangler Esikko always makes himself out to be? Damn right he will should he need to!]
Your grandmother? [First time Bakugo's ever heard of Esikko having any family beyond his shitty mom and dad. His tone reflects his surprise and interest, though smirks in a smug "told ya" when Esikko mentions his memories got clogged up. That's what he thought. Has no one pushed the prince past his usual shell?] Something you liked about her?
no subject
Date: 12/30/25 23:39 (UTC)Well, yes. I loved her. Everything about her was perfect, other than giving birth to my idiot of a father. She said as much, too.
( He laughs a little with his exhale at that, fingers curling more around his hand hold. )
She's why I became so interested in flowers. She'd always have time for me, so I'd run to see her as often as I could, to the point where I got scolded for wasting time. Even still, when I showed up, she'd always coincidentally have sweets for me, even if she didn't eat much of them herself.
( His chest hurts thinking about those days being stuck in the past, no more. If only she could see him now. )
I probably caused her a lot of trouble, always running to her when I shouldn't. But she never let me see any of that, you know?
no subject
Date: 12/31/25 04:04 (UTC)Did she grow flowers too? [If she was the one who got Esikko so into his horticulture lifestyle. It feels like a damn relief to finally know at least one fucking person in the prince's world was a good influence on him, and left some positive mark on his life. Che, it was starting to sound like a damn sob-story fanfiction.] Sounds like she cared about you a lot.
[She wasn't afraid or disgusted like the rest of the castle staff.]
Haa? You're always so damn quick to poison shit! [Fuck! Esikko puts himself down, voices his assumed problematic existence, instinctively believes he was nothing but a burden on everyone, as if he can't possibly accept someone actually was positive towards him.] If she didn't say it, then you weren't a pain in her ass, idiot! Don't decide for her what you were to her.
no subject
Date: 12/31/25 05:15 (UTC)Much like he hadn't thought of the implications or way he thought of his own last comments. )
I'm not just making it up, you know? My parents were always telling me the trouble I put halmeoni ( grandma ) through.
( Not a thought that originated from him, but the negativity he holds never was, originally, was it? He blinks a few times, first at the other and then down the path he's leading them, considering. )
...I do think she didn't mind it, though. Or that she felt I was worth the time. I suppose that's why I enjoyed visiting her so much.
But she passed while I was still quite young. ( Otherwise things might have been different, he thinks. He always felt like she was trying to make them so, anyway. ) I remember refusing to talk to anyone for at least a week... Mm, aside from my younger brother.
( His free hand twirls a strand of his hair around a finger. ) But yes, the palace garden was her doing, and she had her own plants in her rooms, as well. She taught me secrets on their uses, their growth in our weather, their meaning... and how to find out more, of course.
no subject
Date: 12/31/25 20:15 (UTC)What the hell, are you five years old? You're a grown adult, dammit! Look at your own memories and decide for yourself what they mean to you! You don't have to believe everything your parents say in your head.
[Parents shape and mold their children for better or worse, but there comes a time when the child is old enough to decide for himself. No longer able to blame his parents on his thought process, feelings, or actions. Esikko might never break free of his parents' influence, but he doesn't have to subject himself to their abuse further.]
If she thought you were worth it, then believe her over anyone else. She knows herself best. [No matter what others say of her or imply about her choices and actions. Bakugo shifts his steps, leading them around the bend and taking the next incline slower. Steep drop.]
Hmph, no wonder you turned your room into a greenhouse. [The person he's fond of had one while Esikko was growing up. Emulation, preference, simple efficiency? Any of those. He's done a few things his parents did, even though Bakugo gruffly denies doing anything like them.]
no subject
Date: 1/1/26 05:55 (UTC)I think she would have liked you.
( The realization of that. The idea that she never got to see him make any friends, only continue to deal with the world the way it was. The idea that she'd have joined Bakugo in ribbing him only to softly pinch his cheeks and draw him closer, to soothe him for it all. The comfort within stern insistence.
He sighs a little. )
In any case, you're right. I know. Her memory isn't poisoned, so don't scowl so much. This is a date, isn't it? ( He swings their joined hands just once, playful. ) I just haven't told anyone about her before, so I was surprised by the topic, you know?
no subject
Date: 1/1/26 19:39 (UTC)Hmph! She can get in line. [The ironic part being, in the future, despite his aggressive demeanor, Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight is popular among senior citizens as a Pro Hero. He obviously never had the chance to ask his future self about his future life. Far too busy trying to imprison each other.
Bakugo steps atop a larger stone, elevating himself for a quick pop, and drops back to ground level, causing Esikko's arm to momentarily lift and fall along with him.]
Then watch what you say before spewing that negative crap! [If Esikko doesn't want him scowling so much or snarling at him.] Think about shit first, and defeat yourself. Otherwise I'll crush you for you every time.
[Merciless. Even on dates. No, he's not telling Esikko to shut up and stuff his bad feelings. He's telling him to recognize his own pessimism and confront it internally, using his own strength and positive feelings. Friends are good, but using them as crutches all the time will only weaken his legs.
Bakugo silently appreciates Esikko's admission about how private this memory is, and he'll keep it guarded behind his own lips.] There's another river coming up. You wanna cross it or take the bridge?
no subject
Date: 1/2/26 06:29 (UTC)( But he's fond, brushing it off like that. He's only recently gotten friends in the first place, so it's a stunted sort of catch-up, working through when to reach out and when not to lean, but he's trying his best. And for once, he thinks he's doing fairly well for himself!
Which is why he allows himself a moment to consider that question, weighing the pros of each. But who is he kidding? )
Let's cross it. You won't let me slip, so it's a safe sort of challenge, right? Hehe.
( To help himself get used to water more and more. And more excuse to keep holding this hand. He's honestly just surprised he's still able to keep moving without being out of breath. Improvements really are noticeable when he stops to think about it, now... )