[Even if it drove him to his knees, he would support that burden to give Yuji some time to rest and recover. A hero can't pick and choose the amount of help he or she provides. They're there to help as much as they can. Even if it's only words offered right now. Maybe that's enough to give some support. Simply knowing you're not alone. That someone's there.
The day he's able to reunite with Yuji and both of them can reveal their victories...
He understands Yuji's idea of cogs, but refuses to accept it himself. Katsuki goes quiet for a while before looking up at the ceiling.]
The last time I met with him, we were working on an old couples' house in the bay area. We talked about a lot of things. Gojo. You. His mentoring. Sorcerer society. Why he stopped caring about most things. He said a lot that made it sound like he didn't give a shit. But he did. He cared about you, your future, your life. I think you showed him a future he had all but given up on, and reignited his belief in leaving things better off than he had them. Including you.
[ Yuji leans back, sighing softly as he closes his eyes. To have Nanami back, to hear words about himself... From that man... He feels himself flooded with warmth and butterflies, but also a strange kind of grief. ]
I didn't mean to do that. I didn't want him to go and fight. Is it my fault, that he was down there in Shibuya? If... If I'd convinced him otherwise, or if I'd been faster to get to him, maybe Ieiri-san could've...
[Hearing from your deceased mentor... Katsuki thinks he'd feel the same if he heard someone tell him about advice or compliments from Midnight to him after her demise. A bittersweet memory. He can't offer much more than that regarding the last time he spend with Nanami. Yet a lot was said between them.]
Yuji. If you wanna chase the fault, it'd go all the way back to that Suck and the people around him. [Katsuki rolls his head to the side, looking at his friend.] Nanami was a sorcerer. His actions that day were part of his job, just like Endeavor or All Might as heroes. He knew that when he became one.
Don't blame yourself for something he did willingly. I don't think Nananmi would want to become a burden on your heart.
[It is stupid to think about, but it's also human nature. If only's lived rent free in their heads.]
[ Yuji stops. He pauses, and he turns his head, finally looking at Katsuki, eyes damp and clammy from his tears and his deep, painful well of sadness. It's hard, to open his eyes to the light again and think, but... ]
I don't remember... Did I tell you his last words?
[ The last things spoken by Nanami Kento in the living world, and Yuji Itadori was the witness to it. ]
[Katsuki meets Yuji's eyes, their normal fiery scowl replaced with the rare moments of softer expression. Seeing his best friend's eyes watery and sorrowful hurts and he moves his hand on the floor, enough to brush the backs of his fingers against Yuji's. In case he needs the encouragement or comfort. Painful memories...]
No.
[If that's an invitation to tell him or a reminder he's kept it private, Yuji can make the decision.]
[ Heavy words, weren’t they? Yuji can’t really say whether or not they were fair words, but he’s starting to understand it a little better. Nanami wasn’t trying to curse him, wasn’t trying to make him feel bad, or regretful, or make him feel all that guilt and pain. It was passing the mantle and hoping Yuji could carry it: it was a sign of his faith in him, even after such a short time together.
It has taken him time to get it. Sniffling a little, Yuji wheezes out a little noise, a choked off laugh mixed with a sob. Nanami had cherished him, even back then, huh? ]
It took me a while… But he smiled at me, in the end. I remember him smiling, not what Mahito did to him, and… I made a promise. ‘I’ll carry your share of suffering too, Nanamin’.
[ Biting his lip, hard enough to draw blood, Yuji shudders. ]
I think… I don’t know if I can say how much he means to me.
[Katsuki falls silent, not from shock or sadness, but in respect and admiration for the man's last words to Yuji. They resonate with him. It's almost the same as All Might's final words before his retirement: "You're next." People thought he meant a promise/threat to villains, but only a few knew he meant Midoriya Izuku. Of course they were heavy words, and "fair" is disputable. But... both Nanami and All Might's last showed their utmost faith in their proteges to become the great sorcerer and hero they believed them to be.
It's mind-boggling to Katsuki that Yuji couldn't understand what his beloved mentor meant. To think those words were a curse or a shame on him. Yes, they were weighty for a successor to bear the mantel of someone they saw as so great and looked up to so much. At least Yuji's starting to get it, how much his teacher cared for him and believed in him.]
You don't have to say it. It comes through in your eyes and smile when you remember him.
[Whether it's the sadness glistening in them or the sparkle shining inside, the little soft smile on Yuji's lips that's tremulous in its gentle sorrow, or a brilliant grin conveying his admiring pride, it's obvious Nanami meant far more than words can convey to Yuji.]
He's an amazing mentor, and he knew he had an amazing student.
[Maybe someday, Yuji will believe in himself as much as Nanami believed in Yuji.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
blastedass) wrote2020-08-08 04:37 pm
no subject
[Even if it drove him to his knees, he would support that burden to give Yuji some time to rest and recover. A hero can't pick and choose the amount of help he or she provides. They're there to help as much as they can. Even if it's only words offered right now. Maybe that's enough to give some support. Simply knowing you're not alone. That someone's there.
The day he's able to reunite with Yuji and both of them can reveal their victories...
He understands Yuji's idea of cogs, but refuses to accept it himself. Katsuki goes quiet for a while before looking up at the ceiling.]
The last time I met with him, we were working on an old couples' house in the bay area. We talked about a lot of things. Gojo. You. His mentoring. Sorcerer society. Why he stopped caring about most things. He said a lot that made it sound like he didn't give a shit. But he did. He cared about you, your future, your life. I think you showed him a future he had all but given up on, and reignited his belief in leaving things better off than he had them. Including you.
no subject
[ Yuji leans back, sighing softly as he closes his eyes. To have Nanami back, to hear words about himself... From that man... He feels himself flooded with warmth and butterflies, but also a strange kind of grief. ]
I didn't mean to do that. I didn't want him to go and fight. Is it my fault, that he was down there in Shibuya? If... If I'd convinced him otherwise, or if I'd been faster to get to him, maybe Ieiri-san could've...
[ He chews on his lip. ]
Stupid to think about.
no subject
Yuji. If you wanna chase the fault, it'd go all the way back to that Suck and the people around him. [Katsuki rolls his head to the side, looking at his friend.] Nanami was a sorcerer. His actions that day were part of his job, just like Endeavor or All Might as heroes. He knew that when he became one.
Don't blame yourself for something he did willingly. I don't think Nananmi would want to become a burden on your heart.
[It is stupid to think about, but it's also human nature. If only's lived rent free in their heads.]
no subject
[ Yuji stops. He pauses, and he turns his head, finally looking at Katsuki, eyes damp and clammy from his tears and his deep, painful well of sadness. It's hard, to open his eyes to the light again and think, but... ]
I don't remember... Did I tell you his last words?
[ The last things spoken by Nanami Kento in the living world, and Yuji Itadori was the witness to it. ]
no subject
No.
[If that's an invitation to tell him or a reminder he's kept it private, Yuji can make the decision.]
no subject
[ Heavy words, weren’t they? Yuji can’t really say whether or not they were fair words, but he’s starting to understand it a little better. Nanami wasn’t trying to curse him, wasn’t trying to make him feel bad, or regretful, or make him feel all that guilt and pain. It was passing the mantle and hoping Yuji could carry it: it was a sign of his faith in him, even after such a short time together.
It has taken him time to get it. Sniffling a little, Yuji wheezes out a little noise, a choked off laugh mixed with a sob. Nanami had cherished him, even back then, huh? ]
It took me a while… But he smiled at me, in the end. I remember him smiling, not what Mahito did to him, and… I made a promise. ‘I’ll carry your share of suffering too, Nanamin’.
[ Biting his lip, hard enough to draw blood, Yuji shudders. ]
I think… I don’t know if I can say how much he means to me.
no subject
It's mind-boggling to Katsuki that Yuji couldn't understand what his beloved mentor meant. To think those words were a curse or a shame on him. Yes, they were weighty for a successor to bear the mantel of someone they saw as so great and looked up to so much. At least Yuji's starting to get it, how much his teacher cared for him and believed in him.]
You don't have to say it. It comes through in your eyes and smile when you remember him.
[Whether it's the sadness glistening in them or the sparkle shining inside, the little soft smile on Yuji's lips that's tremulous in its gentle sorrow, or a brilliant grin conveying his admiring pride, it's obvious Nanami meant far more than words can convey to Yuji.]
He's an amazing mentor, and he knew he had an amazing student.
[Maybe someday, Yuji will believe in himself as much as Nanami believed in Yuji.]