I can't just forget that kind of thing. I don't agree with everything you said, but it is true we haven't learned much and can't really afford to be relaxing.
[ Specifically it's the "I don't want you to think we wasted that time" part. Izuku definitely is thinking Katsuki might think that or bring it out later given they segued from discussions of birthday celebrations to stumbling around doing nothing, in Katsuki's own words. He's spent plenty of birthdays in the real world with low key two person celebrations. He has memories here of doing more exciting stuff, but... ]
It isn't a matter of "important". How I spend my birthday isn't too big a deal to me. I know I remember big stuff here, but in actuality it's usually just dinner with mom. I've never needed anything big.
[Katsuki's aware of the answer to his question. He's the reason for it in the first place. But he's also not a fan of Izuku assuming he knows everything going through Katsuki's damn mind. People change. It's high time Izuku start trying to kick this fucking insane thought process. It goes beyond just low self-esteem issues...]
just because there are bigger things going on outside you doesn't mean you're not important.
Then why do you want to suddenly skip your birthday?
And don't give me that bullshit about "we could be using that time better". At the start of this conversation, you deliberately asked me if I had time to spend with you on your birthday.
It was important enough to you, you were important enough to you, to want that time for you.
I didn't ask you to celebrate my birthday because I wanted to celebrate my birthday. The main thing I wanted coming into this has always been the same even now.
The nature of how I spend that time may look different but that doesn't make one form any less important than the other to me.
I didn't say that or think that...how I spend my birthday hasn't been that important to me since I was like five years old. That doesn't mean I don't care that I was born or that I think of myself as unimportant.
If it did, I could be here asking you about how important you think you are.
I AM important, dammit! If I didn't think that, I wouldn't be where I am today!
[Kidnapped in a strange world notwithstanding.]
I train, work, improve, everything I do is so I can become the greatest hero in the world! You think you can do that while thinking you're unimportant?
Even All Might considered himself important! Otherwise he wouldn't have wanted to become the Symbol of Peace to keep everyone's hopes alive!
[Technically the Symbol was the important part, but... All Might still had to be confident he could become that Symbol.]
Okay, so why are you insisting that I'm thinking I'm unimportant? I'm training and working and improving as well, and I'm telling you that like you, the specific nature of my birthday celebration doesn't matter to me as much as other things do.
Kacchan, you aren't hearing me. So, please listen.
Even if we did work, it would still be about me in that it would be exactly what I wanted to do that day. I asked you to spend my birthday with me largely because I just wanted you to spend the day with me.
I really don't care if we celebrate or if we go and explore, and that's honest. The end result is still what I wanted.
I want to do something together that you enjoy and don't look back on and dislike. That's what's important to me. That's the feeling I enjoyed so much on your birthday. Spending time together and enjoying it.
Honestly, I feel like I'm being selfish about it, but you seem to see selfishness as something else because we both value vastly different things sometimes.
[ For what it's worth, Izuku's main interest is indeed spending time with Katsuki that day and not sharing. He was excited for the birthday thing, but he'd also be fine exploring.
His main interest is Katsuki also enjoying it, and Katsuki is a lot pickier. ]
It is. And I don't like being told I'm thinking I'm not important when I'm in the middle of doing something I consider selfish.
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no subject
Date: 7/6/23 02:54 (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/6/23 03:02 (UTC)You made candy apples for a little girl instead of working on your control of One for All.
You helped Earphones with her notes instead of reviewing your own.
You talk to your mom on the phone every day.
It's called having a fucking life. And you're allowed to do that. Even if it means something you technically "should" be doing, doesn't get done.
You're not worthless. Stop being so ready to treat yourself like you are.
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 03:05 (UTC)I don't think it means I think I'm worthless to acknowledge that we need to work harder. I don't want you to think we wasted that time later on.
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 03:42 (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/6/23 03:47 (UTC)It isn't a matter of "important". How I spend my birthday isn't too big a deal to me. I know I remember big stuff here, but in actuality it's usually just dinner with mom. I've never needed anything big.
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 03:57 (UTC)just because there are bigger things going on outside you doesn't mean you're not important.
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 03:59 (UTC)[ Izuku isn't the only one who has a problem with assuming. ]
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Date: 7/6/23 04:02 (UTC)And don't give me that bullshit about "we could be using that time better". At the start of this conversation, you deliberately asked me if I had time to spend with you on your birthday.
It was important enough to you, you were important enough to you, to want that time for you.
So what's different?
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 04:16 (UTC)The nature of how I spend that time may look different but that doesn't make one form any less important than the other to me.
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 04:36 (UTC)Do you not care that you were even born?!
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 04:43 (UTC)If it did, I could be here asking you about how important you think you are.
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 04:56 (UTC)[Kidnapped in a strange world notwithstanding.]
I train, work, improve, everything I do is so I can become the greatest hero in the world! You think you can do that while thinking you're unimportant?
Even All Might considered himself important! Otherwise he wouldn't have wanted to become the Symbol of Peace to keep everyone's hopes alive!
[Technically the Symbol was the important part, but... All Might still had to be confident he could become that Symbol.]
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 05:01 (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/6/23 05:06 (UTC)Because you were excited to celebrate your birthday! But when we talked about a bigger issue, you decided to fucking trash everything we planned on.
You weighed which of those was more important and decided you were unimportant! That wasn't even the fucking reason I brought that up!
Why else would you say "screw me, let's work instead"?!
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 05:19 (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/6/23 05:31 (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/6/23 05:36 (UTC)Even if we did work, it would still be about me in that it would be exactly what I wanted to do that day. I asked you to spend my birthday with me largely because I just wanted you to spend the day with me.
I really don't care if we celebrate or if we go and explore, and that's honest. The end result is still what I wanted.
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 05:52 (UTC)[There's no way he can make Izuku see it from his side and no way Izuku can make him see it the other way.]
Then we'll just do whatever on the 15th.
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 05:56 (UTC)Honestly, I feel like I'm being selfish about it, but you seem to see selfishness as something else because we both value vastly different things sometimes.
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 06:11 (UTC)I got it, Deku. Don't need another essay.
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 06:14 (UTC)You're making it out like my request was selfless and making you more important, and that's just entirely wrong.
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 06:21 (UTC)no subject
Date: 7/6/23 06:27 (UTC)Please trust me when I say that me wanting to monopolize you for a whole day is, by my definition, me being selfish. And reframe it from there.
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 06:41 (UTC)That's your definition.
I'll think about what to do for that day.
no subject
Date: 7/6/23 06:57 (UTC)His main interest is Katsuki also enjoying it, and Katsuki is a lot pickier. ]
It is. And I don't like being told I'm thinking I'm not important when I'm in the middle of doing something I consider selfish.
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