[ in the celebration of being oh-so overwhelmed with every possible human emotion, denji decided to yell 'fuck it' in the back of his head and be honest. truth is, he wanted to fuck that boy since he opened up to him during their second date. in an ideal world, after his ill-prepared confession that night they would've shoved their tongues inside each other's mouths and celebrated their youth. yeah, that's what he was thinking, and denji will not be ashamed of it! listen, at the end of the day, he will always respect bakugou's wishes and boundaries, and he did make an effort to persuade him in a less perverted manner because denji knew he was worth the wait. happy to take it slow, and be respectful, but that didn't mean his ideology had been cleansed with holy water.
it didn't mean when they were out on a casual date denji wasn't fantasizing about what it's like to be intimate with the boy in front of him, even while sharing a meal and talking about mundane things he still couldn't help but entertain those thoughts in the privacy of his mind. he questioned himself if it was something he truly felt ready to explore with another guy or if he was using the hero as an excuse to escape the dreads of his old life. it's no secret denji wasn't looking for anything serious once he came to this city and they had this conversation before anything had started between them, so part of him wanted to see if there was a change of heart from within. he thought about it a lot, more than he should be; borderline obsessing. denji wanted to be sure that he understood the contrast between yearning for cheap thrills and bakugou being someone important enough to explore with. out of respect, the half-devil had to be certain he was not selfishly approaching this. he's not proud to admit it, even to himself, but this was - a bit of a struggle to resolve. why? because denji isn't someone who had the best physical/intimate/sexual background to allow him to navigate something as complicated. on top of that, he spent most of his teen life narrowing his line of vision to the basic meaning of 'sex' and linked it to 'pleasure', focusing on the act and not on the significance of sharing it with the right person. again, it all circles back to him believing that he isn't worth anything else.
at days he was convinced he didn't want anything more from earthly pleasures; just mindless sex, quick and dirty. then on the other, he found himself wondering what it would be like if someone actually wanted him. really, truly, sincerely cared for him. what's it like to be in that mindset and be reassured that person won't ever hurt you? god, that would be a dream. it seemed like something isn't created for the scum like him— until bakugou confessed and that dream seemed a lot more vivid and more reachable.
and, fuck, he's so glad no one has taken that away from him, and his 'first' is destined to be with someone he cared for and has returned the sentiment.
'let's do it'. - wait, seriously? ]
... Huh?
[ he sits up a bit, shifting the weight of his upper body on each elbow to keep himself supported, staring at the other boy almost skeptical on whether he heard him right. he opens his mouth, only to end up staring again and realizing— bakugou is serious. this is happening. denji glanced to the side, pondering, then back to his partner. nervous? oh yes. it was a new type of unease though, one that denji is ... enjoying. this might be the first time there is a rare glimmer of life behind those fatigued eyes, and here comes a smile that isn't as vulgar as it should be considering the situation. no, denji looked -
- happy.
slowly, he moves again, straightening his back so he can pull bakugou to settle onto his lap more; they're now on eye level, and from this closer perspective, denji searched for any hint of doubt. anything. when he finds none, he reaches down to grab into those hips, making sure not to lose any touch of friction between them as he pushes his weight on the other, forcing bakugou to fall back on the other edge of the bed. as he stares him down, denji had to admit— he likes this view better. much, much better. the flush paints his cheeks again, his smile losing its innocence and he's back to being himself again as his gaze traces all over bakugou's body.
he starts to explore the other with a proper feel now, down the curve of his hips, and with a puff of reluctance, denji then begins to brush his fingers along bakugou's inner thighs, gently prodding him to relax and spread his legs just a bit as he speaks- ]
no subject
it didn't mean when they were out on a casual date denji wasn't fantasizing about what it's like to be intimate with the boy in front of him, even while sharing a meal and talking about mundane things he still couldn't help but entertain those thoughts in the privacy of his mind. he questioned himself if it was something he truly felt ready to explore with another guy or if he was using the hero as an excuse to escape the dreads of his old life. it's no secret denji wasn't looking for anything serious once he came to this city and they had this conversation before anything had started between them, so part of him wanted to see if there was a change of heart from within. he thought about it a lot, more than he should be; borderline obsessing. denji wanted to be sure that he understood the contrast between yearning for cheap thrills and bakugou being someone important enough to explore with. out of respect, the half-devil had to be certain he was not selfishly approaching this. he's not proud to admit it, even to himself, but this was - a bit of a struggle to resolve. why? because denji isn't someone who had the best physical/intimate/sexual background to allow him to navigate something as complicated. on top of that, he spent most of his teen life narrowing his line of vision to the basic meaning of 'sex' and linked it to 'pleasure', focusing on the act and not on the significance of sharing it with the right person. again, it all circles back to him believing that he isn't worth anything else.
at days he was convinced he didn't want anything more from earthly pleasures; just mindless sex, quick and dirty. then on the other, he found himself wondering what it would be like if someone actually wanted him. really, truly, sincerely cared for him. what's it like to be in that mindset and be reassured that person won't ever hurt you? god, that would be a dream. it seemed like something isn't created for the scum like him— until bakugou confessed and that dream seemed a lot more vivid and more reachable.
and, fuck, he's so glad no one has taken that away from him, and his 'first' is destined to be with someone he cared for and has returned the sentiment.
'let's do it'. - wait, seriously? ]
... Huh?
[ he sits up a bit, shifting the weight of his upper body on each elbow to keep himself supported, staring at the other boy almost skeptical on whether he heard him right. he opens his mouth, only to end up staring again and realizing— bakugou is serious. this is happening. denji glanced to the side, pondering, then back to his partner. nervous? oh yes. it was a new type of unease though, one that denji is ... enjoying. this might be the first time there is a rare glimmer of life behind those fatigued eyes, and here comes a smile that isn't as vulgar as it should be considering the situation. no, denji looked -
- happy.
slowly, he moves again, straightening his back so he can pull bakugou to settle onto his lap more; they're now on eye level, and from this closer perspective, denji searched for any hint of doubt. anything. when he finds none, he reaches down to grab into those hips, making sure not to lose any touch of friction between them as he pushes his weight on the other, forcing bakugou to fall back on the other edge of the bed. as he stares him down, denji had to admit— he likes this view better. much, much better. the flush paints his cheeks again, his smile losing its innocence and he's back to being himself again as his gaze traces all over bakugou's body.
he starts to explore the other with a proper feel now, down the curve of his hips, and with a puff of reluctance, denji then begins to brush his fingers along bakugou's inner thighs, gently prodding him to relax and spread his legs just a bit as he speaks- ]
... How can I make sure it won't hurt?