[the fear of it. bakugou was never scared of a relationship. only annoyed by the prospect of it getting in the way of his path towards becoming the greatest hero. distracting from his studies and work, adding another burden he didn't need to focus on. you don't hear a lot about heroes with significant others or spouses or even families. often that's just not remarked on or kept secret for obvious reasons. because there are dangers to caring about someone. heroes face those dangers all the time. allies, friends, lovers, families, every single one of them would become a weakness to any villain low enough to exploit that.
bakugou's seen it in his own life. sludge villain captured him and so many heroes held back out of fear of hurting the kid inside the monster. ending captured endeavor's son and held him hostage, threatening to kill natsuo if endeavor didn't end the villain's life himself, which only made the number 2 pro hero freeze up in despair. kota's hero parents died in a villain attack, leaving their son orphaned and intensely jaded against heroes. he knew he'd have a hard time fighting if someone he cared about was being used as a shield or bargaining piece. relationships are always a chink in the armor.
feelings. hearts. morals. shit villains can so easily throw away. it's what makes the life of a villain so easy. they don't have to abide by the rules. they can do whatever they want and only force can stop them. bakugou doesn't know denji's nightmare is here. he doesn't know what the other boy is risking by getting involved with him. but he does know the sickening realization that he is someone's weakness. when he was kidnapped, midoriya almost broke down because of it. anyone who knew them would know that bakugou/dynamight was a good way to get to midoriya/deku. acknowledging the fact that he's his own best friend's weakness is a bitter pill for his pride to swallow.
but he swallowed it. washed it down with the acceptances that he's strong. and it's his job, on top of being a hero, to protect the people he has a relationship with, by being strong enough to make sure none of them ever get hurt because of him. he can't be weak enough to be kidnapped, can't be weak enough to be hurt, can't be weak enough to be a burden. accepting the relationship, whether it's friendship, partnership, lover, even family, makes a vow on his part to be a safe relationship. an investment that won't be regrettable for anyone who reaches out for him.
all of that went into the thoughts and feelings that culminated in this moment. when he said "I like you" to denji. he's not saying it because it's just a good time. he's saying it because he accepts the risks, because he accepts denji. broken goods, devil hunter, "not gay", half-devil, chainsaw man altogether. they can talk the specifics later, when they're not kissing each other on the bed, when those thoughts melt into other heat and something more intense pushes down the worries and realities of getting involved with another person. no, bakugou doesn't know just how much it means to someone like denji to say the things he has and do the things he's done. but he can learn about it in time, slowly and surely, as they grow closer together and this takes off even further. denji doesn't have to fight or fly around him. he can stay here beside him, safe and comfortable, and learn something completely new. they can mess with... the mess, later.
bakugou grunts at the feeling of denji's tongue pushing into his mouth again. that weird sensation of someone else moving around inside his jaws like that... but he runs his tongue over the other boy's without hesitating, licking up the glassy smooth underside before tangling around the top. he deliberately runs it over denji's teeth, tracing the sharp edges to let the boy know it's fine. don't treat him like glass. these sharp things are also parts of the half-devil he likes. hands push under his shirt and bakugou's breath catches in his throat as strong fingers spread over his pectorals. the well-formed muscles harden beneath his grip, flexing against his palms and digits. some day he's gonna murder him for that kind of thought process... pecs, not tits you damn bastard. but he's distracted as fuck right now, arching a bit into the groping feel. skin to skin, igniting even more want and need to a surging rush. goddamn he's hot right now. there's no water running over them this time. it's just them... a thumb on his nipple. a tongue in his mouth. denji under him.
bakugou swallows that groan, a rumble of his own sounding n his chest as he breaks the kiss just long enough to let the other boy talk against his lips. hearing those words... hits pretty damn deep too. he'll have time later to sit there and go "what the fuck" upon realizing this is actually happening. but right now, they only take that fire inside and roar it up into something all consuming. fucking amazing to know that sentiment's returned. they can work on the rest, the concerns, the shields, the extras, some other time. one step. they don't need to do it all right now.
the kiss breaks and bakugou lifts his head slightly, still hovering over denji as the other boy palms his chest and he looks down at the guy dropping his head on the pillow like that. tch... he really is a handsome guy. darkened eyes, blown pupils, half-open lips, panting breaths ghosting through his mouth, lashes lowered, the faintest flush from being all kissed the fuck out. guess that's a good cap to the first-time confession right?
because i want to fuck you right now
...
eh? seriously? he just said that, as if that's somehow supposed to get "okay" accepted without saying shit?! bakugou stares down at him with a few flickers of emotion across his face. surprise, confusion, wary, curiosity, arousal, the lot. what the fuck is he supposed to do with that?!]
no subject
bakugou's seen it in his own life. sludge villain captured him and so many heroes held back out of fear of hurting the kid inside the monster. ending captured endeavor's son and held him hostage, threatening to kill natsuo if endeavor didn't end the villain's life himself, which only made the number 2 pro hero freeze up in despair. kota's hero parents died in a villain attack, leaving their son orphaned and intensely jaded against heroes. he knew he'd have a hard time fighting if someone he cared about was being used as a shield or bargaining piece. relationships are always a chink in the armor.
feelings. hearts. morals. shit villains can so easily throw away. it's what makes the life of a villain so easy. they don't have to abide by the rules. they can do whatever they want and only force can stop them. bakugou doesn't know denji's nightmare is here. he doesn't know what the other boy is risking by getting involved with him. but he does know the sickening realization that he is someone's weakness. when he was kidnapped, midoriya almost broke down because of it. anyone who knew them would know that bakugou/dynamight was a good way to get to midoriya/deku. acknowledging the fact that he's his own best friend's weakness is a bitter pill for his pride to swallow.
but he swallowed it. washed it down with the acceptances that he's strong. and it's his job, on top of being a hero, to protect the people he has a relationship with, by being strong enough to make sure none of them ever get hurt because of him. he can't be weak enough to be kidnapped, can't be weak enough to be hurt, can't be weak enough to be a burden. accepting the relationship, whether it's friendship, partnership, lover, even family, makes a vow on his part to be a safe relationship. an investment that won't be regrettable for anyone who reaches out for him.
all of that went into the thoughts and feelings that culminated in this moment. when he said "I like you" to denji. he's not saying it because it's just a good time. he's saying it because he accepts the risks, because he accepts denji. broken goods, devil hunter, "not gay", half-devil, chainsaw man altogether. they can talk the specifics later, when they're not kissing each other on the bed, when those thoughts melt into other heat and something more intense pushes down the worries and realities of getting involved with another person. no, bakugou doesn't know just how much it means to someone like denji to say the things he has and do the things he's done. but he can learn about it in time, slowly and surely, as they grow closer together and this takes off even further. denji doesn't have to fight or fly around him. he can stay here beside him, safe and comfortable, and learn something completely new. they can mess with... the mess, later.
bakugou grunts at the feeling of denji's tongue pushing into his mouth again. that weird sensation of someone else moving around inside his jaws like that... but he runs his tongue over the other boy's without hesitating, licking up the glassy smooth underside before tangling around the top. he deliberately runs it over denji's teeth, tracing the sharp edges to let the boy know it's fine. don't treat him like glass. these sharp things are also parts of the half-devil he likes. hands push under his shirt and bakugou's breath catches in his throat as strong fingers spread over his pectorals. the well-formed muscles harden beneath his grip, flexing against his palms and digits. some day he's gonna murder him for that kind of thought process... pecs, not tits you damn bastard. but he's distracted as fuck right now, arching a bit into the groping feel. skin to skin, igniting even more want and need to a surging rush. goddamn he's hot right now. there's no water running over them this time. it's just them... a thumb on his nipple. a tongue in his mouth. denji under him.
bakugou swallows that groan, a rumble of his own sounding n his chest as he breaks the kiss just long enough to let the other boy talk against his lips. hearing those words... hits pretty damn deep too. he'll have time later to sit there and go "what the fuck" upon realizing this is actually happening. but right now, they only take that fire inside and roar it up into something all consuming. fucking amazing to know that sentiment's returned. they can work on the rest, the concerns, the shields, the extras, some other time. one step. they don't need to do it all right now.
the kiss breaks and bakugou lifts his head slightly, still hovering over denji as the other boy palms his chest and he looks down at the guy dropping his head on the pillow like that. tch... he really is a handsome guy. darkened eyes, blown pupils, half-open lips, panting breaths ghosting through his mouth, lashes lowered, the faintest flush from being all kissed the fuck out. guess that's a good cap to the first-time confession right?
because i want to fuck you right now
...
eh? seriously? he just said that, as if that's somehow supposed to get "okay" accepted without saying shit?! bakugou stares down at him with a few flickers of emotion across his face. surprise, confusion, wary, curiosity, arousal, the lot. what the fuck is he supposed to do with that?!]
Lets do it.