[ it's not being in a relationship that's so overwhelming, and it's not that it happens to be a guy or anything like that. that part is already— resolved for denji just recently, whether he expressed it to his partner or not. it's not the issue if he likes bakugou, no, it's the fear of it. denji felt at ease while hiding behind the idea of them being nothing more than fuck buddies, exploring each other and enjoying the curiosity-driven by being a couple of teens. they would date, hook up, and have fun until the day comes when bakugou is done goofing off and commits to a real relationship with someone else. after all, why would someone like him— would ever want to have something legitimate with damaged goods?
denji was fine with it. it's why he was forward from day one and told him he didn't mind if bakugou fantasized about other people; he was forward and while it might come off as him being a shallow asshole it was more of denji's low self-worth poking its ugly head. he was fine. it's fine. he'd cope — it kept the hero from getting too close, and it offered the half-devil an illusion that bakugou is safe because he's not involved with him in a way that would make him a target. the control devil wouldn't care over a fuck buddy under the blankets, but ... genuine feelings? all curled up in chainsaw man's heart? now that's a different story. it's a weakness- and devils loved feasting on vulnerability. denji wouldn't be as nervous if makima wasn't here, and no one could blame him.
yet, despite all those grim thoughts, they were easy to mute and push aside as they kissed each other. bakugou is the only one here who has that power over him in this city; to tame the cruel whispers and make him believe that everything is alright when they're together. did the hero know what that means to someone like denji? someone who is in a constant fight or flight mentality, trying to survive, guard up 24/7, fucking scared and tired of feeling this way. did the hero understand how precious it is to catch a breather? how did he become denji's sanctuary whether they both intended it to happen or not? denji didn't even know where to begin to express that to him; no words on this earth could depict how important this boy is to him. it's just stupid he didn't figure it out sooner. just tonight, a few seconds ago ... and it's intense.
unlike their greeting earlier, this one was heavy with passion, eagerness, and fervor. denji didn't waste time and pressed his tongue inside the other's mouth, still trying his best to be careful with his teeth but no promises. his body is already too warm and a lot more sensitive, very aware of the boy on top of him and denji decides he wants more. more of bakugou. he relaxed his grip on the other's shirt, content that he wouldn't break off their kiss anytime soon, he then started to trace his fingers down bakugou's chest. it seemed like denji was planning to grab into his hips again, only to have a change of heart as he remembered something important. bakugou was certainly blessed with certain perks. of course he had to appreciate those pecs, going as far as slipping both hands under his shirt for a proper skin-to-skin. with his eyes closed, denji can only go by memory, thinking of their time in the shower and of how sinfully enticing they were, so full and perky, and- he goes for a squeeze, gently brushing his thumb over a nipple.
shameless, denji muffled a low groan. the words slip between his heavy breaths, unbothered to stop kissing him as he whispers. ]
... I like you, too.
[ and no, it wasn't the words of a horny idiot who wanted to say whatever to get the other in the mood; it was genuine. denji meant it even when he's too drunk with bakugou's attention on him, it still wouldn't overshadow the truth. all he needed was to hush those fears down and focus. he likes him. he does, and with it comes a few concerns. denji knows he has to deal with it instead of hiding behind a fantasy. however, it's only fair bakugou hear him say it. the rest? they will have to work on it.
gently, he pulled away and tossed his head back on the pillow. denji glanced upward with his lips slightly apart, panting a bit, and lashes low over his hazy eyes. ]
And I'm not just saying that because I want to fuck you right now.
no subject
denji was fine with it. it's why he was forward from day one and told him he didn't mind if bakugou fantasized about other people; he was forward and while it might come off as him being a shallow asshole it was more of denji's low self-worth poking its ugly head. he was fine. it's fine. he'd cope — it kept the hero from getting too close, and it offered the half-devil an illusion that bakugou is safe because he's not involved with him in a way that would make him a target. the control devil wouldn't care over a fuck buddy under the blankets, but ... genuine feelings? all curled up in chainsaw man's heart? now that's a different story. it's a weakness- and devils loved feasting on vulnerability. denji wouldn't be as nervous if makima wasn't here, and no one could blame him.
yet, despite all those grim thoughts, they were easy to mute and push aside as they kissed each other. bakugou is the only one here who has that power over him in this city; to tame the cruel whispers and make him believe that everything is alright when they're together. did the hero know what that means to someone like denji? someone who is in a constant fight or flight mentality, trying to survive, guard up 24/7, fucking scared and tired of feeling this way. did the hero understand how precious it is to catch a breather? how did he become denji's sanctuary whether they both intended it to happen or not? denji didn't even know where to begin to express that to him; no words on this earth could depict how important this boy is to him. it's just stupid he didn't figure it out sooner. just tonight, a few seconds ago ... and it's intense.
unlike their greeting earlier, this one was heavy with passion, eagerness, and fervor. denji didn't waste time and pressed his tongue inside the other's mouth, still trying his best to be careful with his teeth but no promises. his body is already too warm and a lot more sensitive, very aware of the boy on top of him and denji decides he wants more. more of bakugou. he relaxed his grip on the other's shirt, content that he wouldn't break off their kiss anytime soon, he then started to trace his fingers down bakugou's chest. it seemed like denji was planning to grab into his hips again, only to have a change of heart as he remembered something important. bakugou was certainly blessed with certain perks. of course he had to appreciate those pecs, going as far as slipping both hands under his shirt for a proper skin-to-skin. with his eyes closed, denji can only go by memory, thinking of their time in the shower and of how sinfully enticing they were, so full and perky, and- he goes for a squeeze, gently brushing his thumb over a nipple.
shameless, denji muffled a low groan. the words slip between his heavy breaths, unbothered to stop kissing him as he whispers. ]
... I like you, too.
[ and no, it wasn't the words of a horny idiot who wanted to say whatever to get the other in the mood; it was genuine. denji meant it even when he's too drunk with bakugou's attention on him, it still wouldn't overshadow the truth. all he needed was to hush those fears down and focus. he likes him. he does, and with it comes a few concerns. denji knows he has to deal with it instead of hiding behind a fantasy. however, it's only fair bakugou hear him say it. the rest? they will have to work on it.
gently, he pulled away and tossed his head back on the pillow. denji glanced upward with his lips slightly apart, panting a bit, and lashes low over his hazy eyes. ]
And I'm not just saying that because I want to fuck you right now.